Wedding Party and How You Perceive It

Today is a big day for my friend, Imelda and her husband, Erizal. Yes, today is their wedding day.

Wedding day is usually seen as the final point of a relationship. Once you get married, then everything will be settle and finally reach the safe point. But, is that true?

For me, wedding day is the last day of including other people in a couple’s life. Because on a wedding day, the whole world should stay as an outsider, and the couple must struggle to maintain their relationship. Sometimes the world struck hard on their marriage, or even worse, the whole world is against them.

Can they maintain it? The answer is depending on how hard the commitment that they have.

I have a best friend who told me once that in a relationship, those two people are like two porcupines who are trying their best to warm each other, without hurting each other with their spikes. It sounds hard, and yes, it is hard to do, but not impossible to do.

I am now still at the wedding party … I was wondering how other people perceive wedding day and marriage, when suddenly a girl beside me cried aloud. She cried in the middle of her meal and looked so sad.

After a while, I asked her why. She said, it is due to psychological condition. I asked no further questions.

I am still wondering what’s going on in her mind and heart about wedding day and marriage.

What’s in your mind about wedding day and marriage?

Writing is my way to share it to you.

10 thoughts on “Wedding Party and How You Perceive It

  1. Dahling, you know how much I evolved in my opinion towards wedding ceremony =)

    I feel sorry for that crying girl. Hello…. don’t cry!!!!

    As for me, I’m still in my opinion that wedding ceremony should be serene (no “unknown” guests) and hip (featuring clubbing sessions).

    So, what’s in my mind when I think about wedding:
    1. My loved one
    2. White suit
    3. Classic & simple wedding ring
    4. Small sized wedding cake
    5. Only about 100 invitees
    6. Mom and Dad (& close family)
    7. You, Wulan, Nur, & close friends
    8. DJ with a lot of hip-hop tunes
    9. Mariah Carey


    1. Well, the concept of having a hip and outrageous wedding depends on how rich your parents (we are Asians), how big is your extended family and how many guests that HAVE to be invited.

      But, I do agree with you about having a small and intimate reception. I’m thinking of having all-Jazz wedding. Classic white gown, casual guests and piano (with Gavin Nicklette on it).

      Send my regard to your loved one …

  2. What was on my mind during my own wedding?
    NOTHING! hahaha….seriously, I was just having an absolutely blast and touched that my fellow Morons bothered to make the trip down to be at my big day…just basking in the love of everyone around us…

    What’s on my mind about marriage?
    It’s a commitment you make to someone, a sacred promise to always be there through the good times and bad…holding each other’s hand as you take one step as a time through life together

    1. I could see that you were thinking of Nothing! Because you were so calm. Remember you called me and Gavin just before you walked down the aisle? Oh God … What a sweet memory!

      And yes, commitment is something that we have to fight for a lifetime. All the best for you, Mark and the baby.

  3. Dear Evi, I love your jazz wedding idea. I also like your idea of an intimate reception, but because our parents want to invite a lot of people, we want to give them the respect that they deserve, so it will be a tough decision. But at the end of the day, wedding is about the couple & it is the beginning of their adventure together.
    Edwin: I don’t know that you really like Mariah Carey so much? Hehehe…I like her too 🙂

    1. It is always tough to decide who to invite and not to invite. But the main point is to understand the meaning of wedding day as the start of new, long and tough journey together.

      Wish you all the best for your wedding day soon!

  4. So this is my simple and dummy reflection on my experience…..and you know I dislike to make things to be unnecessary complicated….

    Marriage is one thing….wedding is another. The first one will work if you work on it….the latter is an event that less relevant to marriage or love 🙂 Of course, should you choose to see it honestly 🙂

    Marriage is about filling life with love…. and feeling love in life. That’s it. You can marry your partners, or marry you work, or marry your books…..whatever makes you feel that you have fill your life with love, and feel love in your life 🙂 It’s more of an ongoing act rather than a concept to ponder on……

    A wedding……well….yeah, whatever sounds fun for you to let people know that you are married. Which people? What kind of fun? If we are being honest to ourselves, we know which definition suits well….After all, it’s only an event, not the journey itself.

  5. Wedding is supposedly to be very personal and close. I imagine how does it feel to be the bride and groom of a super-mega-big party? Oh no, I just being random.

    Anyway, yes, marriage needs a lot of hardwork and consistency, commitment and love too! And I love what you said: “Marriage is about filling life with love…. and feeling love in life”

  6. After reading your writing, I have contemplate your words about wedding and marriage. I have a point of view of this words. I associate marriage and wedding just like when we’re cooking. The marriage is the main material of our food and the wedding is just like an additional component of our food.
    Yeah, we can said that the most essential thing of our relationship is placed on how we moving forward on our commitment to live together with a legal justification and regarding to your religion with a “sakramen”, which is described by most people as marriage.
    But in my comment now, I would like to tell you about the correlation of both of them. The wedding, as I’ve wrote above, is just like an additional component to put in when we’re cooking, although in some people thought it was a complicated thing and even they perceive it as an unecessarry thing to do. That was just a people thought. Some people perceive it as an important thing, some other perceive it just wasting our time and resource.
    The analogy is just like when we’re cooking, the main material still must be added, but we can’t forget the additional one that made our food more delicious for our tongue. But some how, some people can ignore the wedding as an additional component in their life because they thing that there is still so many additional component that may make their food more delicious, or they have another substitution component besides the wedding itself.
    So, how important the wedding it is, for our life, I think it is very subjective point of view for people.
    My suggestion is just follow your heart for your wedding and marriage, because it would be your own sweetest memories not the other one. Whether you like to make it as simplest one or you want to use all of your parents’ resource to make it more glamorous it’s depend on your hearth. Don’t do thing that contrary to your heart saying.


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