It is always easier for us to tell others on what to do. We talk as if we know the best possible advice and what-to-do lists for others. But honestly, most of the time, this method works one-way. Out of the many advice we give to others, we only apply a few of them to ourselves – or even none.
The past few weeks have been hard on me – or at least I thought so. I lost my Grandma, overloaded cases and classes (well, teaching works well for me to replace counseling) and dealing with my own thoughts. I have been thinking too much and without realizing it, I started to feel weak and exhausted.
This morning, I spoke to my best friend and he said that I need to stop it! I need to break my cycle of thinking and quit to be so hard on myself. I am not sure if this trait is in my blood – or did I build it myself. But I know for sure that I have a high level of self-blame, so whenever I ‘fail’ to do things as perfectly as I want, I feel bad. It works not only for big issues or problems, even for the small problems – I will blame myself. I failed to fry the silky tofu as perfectly as it should be, or I failed to cook Balinese chicken as it supposed to be. You know, I can just repeat it in my head.
Life is funny! I talked to so many people in my counseling room and the most given advice I delivered to them is … Love Yourself. I told them to love themselves more, because most of the time their problems rooted from the lack of self-love. It is always easier to analyze others! But now is my time to reflect in front of the mirror and love the person I see on the mirror. Me.
I am writing this post while sipping an iced chocolate on Starbucks Cafe. I haven’t done a proper cafe-ing time alone for so long. I know that I need it today, so I can sit and reflect on what I feel and think at the moment. I need to learn to love myself more, despite my failure in frying the tofu. I am capable of doing a lot more than just grieving over one small mistake.
I will start by reading a book that has been given to me a long time ago on Mindful Therapy. It is important to embrace our present moment and let go off the rest! Easier to say than do so, but I will give it a go – out of love for myself.
I hope you have a good day!