A Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

“I spread my wings and I learn how to fly …I’ll do what it takes till I touch the skies

Make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway …”

(Kelly Clarkson – Breakaway)

I’ve been dreaming to be a psychologist since I was 15 years old. I did not know what it meant to be a psychologist back then, but I knew this job was awesome. I always loved to listen to someone else’s problems. They could be my friends, my family or someone that I met in the street and shared their stories to me. I tried to grasp the points that they sent to me, so every conversation had its own meaning. And that was the start for me.

One of my Classes
One of my Classes

When I did my Bachelor Degree, I always wanted to do Masters. At that time, I already knew that I had a heart for children. So, I tried to keep myself updated with the latest news or activities about children. I had my clipping books and read as much as I could as a way to show my persistence and hard work.

Today, I’m writing this as a Masters student. When I’m looking back, I know that I’ve learned all the theories, history and basics for what I’m doing now. It seems slightly the same, for I have to sit and do my exams or all the procedures in the class. But it’s not the same. Masters had taught me to be someone better. Not to be someone else, but to be a better Cicilia. It taught me to adapt in a new situation with heaps of new faces. At first, I hesitated, but now I’m enjoying my class very much. I found out that discussion and team work is a big part of being an academia. I used to learn and keep everything for myself, but now I know that sharing is very important. I can gain knowledge from others, who has different point of view, broader connections or a smarter brain. I really want to enrich myself and I hope I can do the same way too for others.

While I’m doing my Masters, I still do my work as a teacher and owner of a tutorial group for International School students in Malang. I learn how to manage my students and assistants, even though I only have 7 students and 2 assistants. I learn how to take care of my students and listen to parents’ requests and complain. I put myself in that circle, so I will be able to listen and read the situation. I also learn how to manage my time, among my study, my work and other activities. Simply to say, everything that I’m doing at the moment helps me to have a better characteristic as a person.

Some of Masters students
Some of Masters students

Being ambitious and persistence is a good combination to explain about who I am. I always have big dreams and many of them had come true. I have met President Soeharto and Vice President Try Sutrisno when I won the national scientific paper competition as a 2nd winner back on 1997. After that, I was chosen as East Java representative to be part of national No-Drugs campaign. It was unbelievable and I’m very grateful for that experiences. I believe that a heart wants what the heart wants. I always wanted to be a successful woman in my life, so I know that I need to push myself to the limit in order to gain my dreams. I know that every hard work will be paid off.

With Vice President Try Sutrisno
With Vice President Try Sutrisno

Taking Masters is a way to complete what I want in my life, to be a child psychologist. I’m doing my best to complete my Masters Degree with satisfaction results and heaps of experiences. I never refuse any chances to learn about new things. I keep on practicing my English and writing as much as I could about child psychology and other updates (https://cecillethestoryteller.wordpress.com). I read and also discuss class materials with some friends and lecturers. I come to seminars and workshops and never lose a chance to build relationships with those experts. I even did my first time as a translator last September, when I was invited to be part of School of Children Counseling with David Goodwin from New Zealand. I learned many experiences that money can’t buy. I told myself to go for at least 1 training every year. I believe those trainings will develop me well and I will be able to share that knowledge to everybody else.

The hardest part for me is to be humble at all time. Sometimes I feel like blurt out when I talk or see someone who is working very slowly and taking his time leisurely. For me, time is something precious that will not come back and will not bring you back into whatever season that you used to like. So, I always embrace the time that I have by giving my best in everything that I do. My parents taught me to be someone responsible for whatever I do. If I’m a student, then I have to complete my responsibilities as a student. If I’m a worker, then I have to complete my responsibilities as a worker. It’s always about being responsible. That lesson had make me as who I am today.

with the committee
with David Goodwin and the committee

Now, I’m trying hard not to judge others before I know them. I’m learning not to make any assumptions about anyone at anytime. I also learn how to keep my mouth silent before my head think of giving comments. It’s a hard work but worth a try because I know that it will strengthen me in the future.

I believe that when someone is willing to pay the price to gain knowledge and keep on learning, that person will be an expert in his area. I want to be that person in child psychology area. I wish after I complete my Masters Degree, I will be able to work competently as a child psychologist and able to take significant part in this area. I’ll keep the hard work!

“The soul of a sluggard desires, and has nothing;

But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich”

(Proverbs 13:4)

(submitted as part of my self-development examination)

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