During hard times, it seems impossible for us to see the possible outcomes and lessons in the future. We focus our attention to the most effective way of reducing the stress and manage the problems. During this time, other people in your life will play their parts – either as part of problem-solving, or they contribute as the causal.
I heard many times that forgiveness is only for the weak, because they do not have the power to fight back and defend themselves. Forgiveness is not an option for the strong ones. Many people believe this and they choose to put forgiveness as their last choice. As I grew up, I learned that forgiveness is for the strong ones. Those people who can stand up again after every fall and bravely decided that they have to let go off their burden – in the form of anger, revenge, disappointment.
These past few days, I have been reminded on forgiveness again. I was thinking on one person who gave me a real hard time of life. I was angry and hurt, I had to go for personal retreat, counseling and went through the moment of depression. It was really hard for me and I never imagined that another person would do such thing to others. But through the love of my closest ones, I was able to stand up once again. They pray for me, they talk to me, call me and simply being there for me. Time was the answer that I was loved by them and they were sent by God for me.
It took me a few months before I decided that I need to forgive this one person. Once I decided so, it took me three years to really be able to let everything go. I quit asking all the why questions (why me, why now, why why) and accordingly, I quit looking for the reasons behind that hard time. I decided that I can choose my action in the future and regarding his actions, I have no rights to know.
As I am standing here today, I would ask for a chance to tell that person that he has taught me the best lesson of life. He taught me that I can choose forgiveness when I am hurt. He taught me that believing in God has to be seen through behaviors and characters. He taught me that those people who really love you, would never walk away from you. He also taught me the lesson of loving the flaws of life – in me, my spouse, my family and friends. There is no such thing as perfection – it is only the illusion of perfection. He was that illusion. And I am having my real life here with me now. Thanks to those lessons!
Forgiveness is a choice that we can always take. It is for you – not for those who hurt you. Forgiveness does not say that what others do to us is acceptable, but it says that we can always choose to make them no longer painful or hurtful for us. We can carry on, without those burden in us. Choose forgiveness and be free.