Sixteen and Pregnant

16 and pregnant is a show in MTv that tells about the fight and the hardship of being a mom, while you yourself is only a kid. The show is now hitting the second season, but the problems are not getting easier or less complicated. The scenes of teens taking care of their own babies is just beyond words. The case would be different if you want to get married at your young age and aware enough with the consequences. But these bunch of teen girls are just teens.

The bad scene is worsened by the lack of fatherhood in those boys (who happened to make the girls pregnant). Only a few of them would be responsible of being a father and understand what fatherhood is all about. Most of the boys will walk away, ask for DNA test or still busy with their daily stuff: car modification, hang out with friends.

I’m not a judge and don’t have any rights to do that. I’m just writing down the things that I see. Outside the show, we can see many teens are getting pregnant while they still unable to take care of themselves. One girl that I knew quite well is now carrying her first baby. She is a friend of my relative. We met frequently before. In my eyes, she’s a quiet girl, who’s working hard to achieve the best at her school and work.

Her boyfriend and his family want to take the responsibility of marrying this girl and raise their baby together. But the problem is not over yet. Because she has to let her family know that she’s carrying her baby. It is now 5 weeks old and 8mm long (I wonder how cute is that).

The shock of hearing the news will be exhausting for the family and relatives. The news itsef is already a shock for the teen mom and dad.
My Dad taught me a lot about responsibility. Whatever status that you have, whatever season that you’re in … People will respect you, if only you’re such a responsible person. Responsibility is not merely for a father – as the head of the family – but also for everyone else. The kids have their responsibility as children and students. The parents have their own responsibility of taking care the kids, manage the house and looking after the whole family system. The key is to be responsible.

Back to the show …
A few of the teen couples decided to give away their babies – for the sake of the babies. Is that being responsible? In some cases, it may be yes. If those teen parents know and well-aware that they won’t be able to support their babis, then giving away the babies might be an option. Is it the right choice? No one really knows …

But there’s one thing that we all know: have a safe sex. As human being, biologically we’re created with all the sex organs, hormones and desire/lust. It doesn’t mean that we can express those needs without any consideration, because the effect will be long. Just be careful and have a safe sex .. As Nickelback said, that sex is not a question, sex is always the answer.
Be smart!

Writing is my way to share it to you.

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Story of 13-year-old Dad

Being a father is a huge responsibility. Not just in a way that father has to take care of the whole family, but also the demand of having emotional stability and ability to make decision. I bumped into this headline in Yahoo! about a 13-year-old Dad in England, called Alfie Patten.

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He had one night of unprotected sex and now, everything seems so unreal in his eyes. The girl, 15-year-old Chantelle Staedman, gave birth to baby Maisie Roxanne last Feb 12. He thought it is good to have a baby, but he did not have the whole idea of having a child and being a Dad. He did not even know the price of the nappies.

The kid couples decided not to aborted the baby, which received positive response from anti-abortion Christian Charity, LIFE. Their decision to keep the baby is something good, but they have to think through the rest of their lives, as parents and also the life of baby Maisie.

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This story brings us into a reality that sex education needs to emphasizes more in the importance of having safe sex. Teens are in need to understand the outcomes of having unprotected sex and the danger of having sex in very young age. Teens are known with their curiousity and they are willing to do something new, without any knowledge of the outcomes.

We hope the story of Alfie will bring us into a better stage of preparing our teens in the future.

Jawa Pos Deteksi-Con 2K8 (4): The Un-Cut Stories

In every stage performance and events like this, we always wish to see the best performances, photos and stories on the newspaper. We rarely see the real backstage situation. The most that we can see is ‘behind the scene’ shots. In this last part of Jawa Pos Deteksi-Con, I’d like to upload some photos that can give the readers an almost real backstage situation.

You can see a beautiful Cinderella tied up her sneakers on AEC booth. She was one of hundreds of representatives from many schools around Surabaya. She looked cute though with her hidden sneakers!

Cinderella with sneakers

Cinderella with sneakers

You can also see a girl with kimono and … Advertisements all over her. Well, it could be the sponsors for her school mading, or it was just a fun. For me, it was very eye-catching…

Advertisement all over her

Advertisement all over her

And, there was Captain Hook on a make-up session… He wasn’t ready for the show before he looked fierce enough (my guess!)

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Anyway, it was a huge show with thousands of students who participated in the events or the on-lookers. It was a success event and I believe those students are waiting for the next round next year.

Keep it up!

Jawa Pos Deteksi-Con 2K8 (3): Mob Movement

Everyday in our AEC booth, we can see the students presenting their schools in variety of ways. They dressed up, wearing unique costumes or making noises throughout the hallway. This action known as Mob Movement. It is a movement organized by numbers of people to do something in order to gain their goals and it could be negative or positive. In Det-Con event, the goal is positive, i.e. to win some trophies and predicates for their schools.

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I thought to myself that I’d be embarrassed if I have to perform such a show or dress up like they did. I never imagined that I would be able to dress up as a mermaid or wizardry. Those students were brave enough. They might be shy if they had to perform individually, but since they did it as a group, they wouldn’t be that embarrassed. Their individual identity wouldn’t be known. They would be identified as a group who was representing their schools.

Mob Movement

Mob Movement

Wicked Wizardries

Wicked Wizardries

I had to admit that I appreciated their effort to give the best for their schools. They ignored themselves as an individual and perform well as a group. If many of other students outside this event could perform the same positive mob movement, we can reduce the numbers of students fights or the numbers of delinquency done by students.

The Mixed Up Merman

The Mixed Up Merman

Keep it up, guys!

Report from Jawa Pos Deteksi-Con 2K8 (1)

The Making of Mading on the spot

The Making of Mading on the spot

Here in Surabaya, JawaPos Deteksi-Con is a big name for young people who want to express their ability and creativity in journalistic. There were hundreds of students who came and visited Surabaya Supermall Convention Centre (SSCC) daily. I had my shift on Saturday and Sunday evening. I had a great time watching those bunches of students who work hard to be the winner of many competitions, such as: young journalist, best photographer, best mading and OZ challenge. The prizes are awesome, one of them is one-week homestay in Australia (I wish I could win this prize…)

New FHM

New FHM

This year’s theme is Fairy Tales. So, everything is about Fairy Tales. I saw many madings with Peter Pan and Princess as the background. But some of them had been very creative by making their own Cookies house, Kitchen or Indonesian fairy tales theme.

The Cookies House

The Cookies House

Their creativity was awesome! Nothing else to say… Look at these photos below. You’ll be amazed on how these young students able to translate their idea into something real. I guess you are all the winners, guys!

This one is cool!

This one is cool!

Gorgeous, isn't it?

Look at the details

Huge Story Book

Huge Story Book

A warm and cozy kitchen

A warm and cozy kitchen

Keep up the hard work!

Community Life

KRK TOM 2004 - Perth

KRK TOM 2004 - Perth

No one can live by himself. No one can fight this world by himself. No one can conquer his personal legend by himself. There must be people out there who help us in many ways, seen or unseen.

I’ve been living my life as a part of community since I was very young. Just to name a few: scout, school magazine team, school organization, traditional music performers, volleyball team and Catholic youth groups. I just can’t let myself live solitary in this world. Community life bring me to the max of my capacity, because I can do more than I did for myself. I can push myself more when I’m surrounded with people who need my help (and vice versa).

with AIYEP participants

with AIYEP participants

The benefits of living in community life are too many to mentioned.

  1. As a part of community life, we can gain support and positive feedback to enhance ourselves. Community support us with feedback and support in order to help us grow more beautifully.
  2. We can contribute into community with our talents, so it will make us more confident of ourselves. Not to be proud, but to realize our existence and in which ways we can help others.
  3. We can share the experiences of being together in a group, in which we can feel the same happiness, the same sadness and laugh when we already walk through that experiences together.
  4. We can learn others’ experiences as well: the fall down, the up high, the dark moments and many more. From that sharing moments, we will learn new things as well. It will help us to understand more about life and the world that we’re living in.
  5. Having a 2nd family.
My family in Outbond Activities

My family in Outbond Activities

Be part of a community and you will experience the benefits mentioned. All you need to do is make sure that you want to blend with others to gain more knowledge and understandings.

Welcome, mate!

HOPE Visited Women Behind Bars

I never imagine how life would be behind bars and thick wall. Those women that I met this afternoon were strong enough to face the truth of their reality. They made their mistakes, paid their times and -hopefully- learn their lesson. Many of them were young and bright. I supposed they would be a succeed out there. Some of them were serving inside the jail. They never stop to spread the words of God and strengthen each other.

I was part of my community called HOPE. And today I got a huge responsibility to be a preacher. My first time in public. Well, what else to say beside I was very nervous. But thank God I did it good (according to what others said). I was talking about why problems come into our lives and what does God want from that.

When problems come, we tend to forget to ask, “What lesson that I will learn this time?”. We tend to ask God the same old question, “Why me?”

Praying Hands

Praying Hands

From my reflections (= reading bible, books, listen to others and my own thoughts), I can conclude some important points (read Hebrews 12: 5-11):

1. God wants us to be strong and tough. He will never let His children grow as cranky and moody generation who will never be able to work hard and will easily fall down.

2. God wants to mold our character according to His will. He wants us to be: humble, patient, strong and calm. It means that we should be wiser with every problem that we ever encounter. When we succeed at one stage of problem, we need to be humble and not to be proud, because He wants us to be a living witness that can help and pray for others who are dealing with the same problems.

3. God wants us to work hard with Him to solve the problems that we have. As human, we don’t really have the power to overcome everything, but in Him, we can do the impossible. We need to keep on praying and at the same time, keep doing out best!

We learn our lessons too today… that we should serve and help others no matter who they are, where they come from and what are their backgrounds. As long as they want to know Jesus, we can help them. Like those women behind bars, they still have the spirit of serving God. They deserve the chance…. as long as they want to change.

I pray that HOPE can bring a real hope for all of those women behind bars…

HOPE

HOPE

Youth Retreat – Batu, June 2, 2008

I never imagined that one day I would be a group leader for youth retreat. If it was not for Ike, then I might refused. Ike was one of my best friend. We were together in university (doing psychology) and still together when we worked in Jakarta and Cirebon. But guess what, I learnt a lot today…

Ike was the speaker on the session about ‘Who Am I?’ She could handle those bunch of teens who were barely know her. The session went well with about 50 teenagers altogether. The point that she made was the importance of self-image. How do they see themselves and how do they perceive others’ opinion about them. Sometimes teens are easily distracted by tiny-bity appearance problems (let’s say: weight gain, pimples, no boyfriend/girlfriend around) and ignore the more urgent matters (how to be fight our weaknesses, how to build good and healthy relationship with others). It is an important task for parents, teachers and those who are working in youth care to promote positive self-image, so the teens won’t get disappointed with what they have but working hard to boost their talents.

with my group

As a group leader, I was a bit awkward at first, but then I could blend with the teens. I could sense why parents are usually stuck with their teens. It seems that the age gap and different way to view the world have separated them away. My responsibility was to explain the process of the activities and make sure the whole group to finish their works. Each activity was designed to help the teens to understand more about themselves. At the 1st session, they were asked to write down 3 good and bad experiences in which they were labeled by others (for example: Teacher A said that I’m stupid, I feel sad OR Teacher B said that I’m creative, I’m so excited). Each experience then need to be match with certain feeling that followed. This introduction into feeling was made to help the teens understand that there are numbers of feelings, not just happy, sad, mad or excited.

group discussion

The 2nd session was designed for the teens to find about the strength of a friend on their left and a friend on their right side. It could help some teens to realized that others view them positively. Sometimes they just not realized their own strength. On the 3rd session, each person got a feedback from their closest friend in a group to fix their weaknesses and be more confidence with themselves. The feedback given must be in positive term, such as: you will look nicer if you brush your hair nicely OR you will make more friends if you can smile more often.

The final session was closed with 1.5 hour activity in which they drew their own universe in a paper. This activity was meant to help the teens to understand and realized the components of themselves and appreciate others who were meaningful to them (family, friends, teachers, those who sponsor their school fee, etc). And… I had a duty to close the session with short message for the participants. All I said was to boost their positive self-image by doing positive activities and be open to all the criticism and advices that come from others. Not to take the criticism without any thoughts but… critically think through it.

closing session