Mommy is Stress Out During Exam Period

This is another real life story of a young mother, who is stressing out during her children examinations period. She has 2 children, son and daughter. Her son is the eldest and started his Primary at 5.5 year of age. She complained about her son to me, just a moment ago. She said that her son is a hard child when it comes to any school work. He would not start his school works if she does not call him. He would not study for his test, if she does not shout it out. He always makes the same mistakes over and over again. Even though the night before the test, he could answer all the practice given by his mother, on the test day, he would make some mistakes. So, he never really achieve high standard, which has been lined out by his mother.


We tried to sort things out, especially on why her son show no interest in any school activities. Then we come into a few conclusions:

  1. Her son might be too young when he entered Primary school. He did not have enough time to play with his peers and not thinking about his diary and school works. By sending a child to school at a very young age will have different impact on different child. Maybe her son is craving for playing time during his kindergarten years.
  2. She set her own standard of getting high scores at school and hoping that her son will enter the highest 10. She put her past experiences into her son’s scope now. She was in the highest 10 and her mother did not pay any attention on how she was doing her school works. She wants the same thing to happen with her and her children at the moment.
  3. She asked her son to do his best at school because she wants something from her son. She has a mindset that she already gave a lot for her son, so now it’s time for her son to give something back, by doing good at school. By saying this, her son will think that the one who needs good grades is not him, but his mother. Her son will not be bothered by this request because he could not understand the meaning of studying, having good grades and so on. His mother needs to tell him the right examples of why he needs to study well for his own sake.
  4. She does not have consistent studying hour for her son, so it will depend on the daily basis. By setting schedule, a child can learn to adapt into such routine. Of course, the schedule not meant to be dull and not fun. The schedule must meet a child’s ability, biological hours and capacity. If a child can stand for an hour and needs a break, then parents must understand such condition. Pushing a child to go over his limit, will bring the child down and bring parents down too, for they can’t reach the ‘standard’ set.

It’s not easy to be parents. I’ve been dealing with teaching young children for 4.5 years and I’ve met many parents with different expectations, wrong belief and their own standard of being success for their children. I would not blame such parents, because they do not understand on how to see the world from their children’s point of view.

As a start, imagine yourself at the age of your child now! Then you will understand what they need …

Story of O: A Special Child

During my holiday, I’ve spent plenty of time to share with my friends and colleague. The thing that I love the most about sharing is the chance that we have to broaden our knowledge without much money to spent and also, it’s a time-effective process. I do not need to spend a few months to understand one case, just like my friend did. She is happening to be a therapist of special need children, and she has lots of students. One of her students is now my student. Let’s say his name is O.

O has one meeting per week with my friend to attend play therapy. O has been reported as a child who is unable to concentrate in the class and therefore, he couldn’t finish his works, at school and also at home. O is a cute and nice boy, and now he is attending P1 class.

At my tuition centre, O attends 3-times/week classes. What I observed about him are as following:

  1. He always rips the edge of his paper work which always stapled by his teacher. He said that he hates stapled paper. I suggested him to tell his teacher, not to staple his paper work and it seems that he’s happy with that. He understands the consequences of writing his name on every paper that he receives.
  2. He does not want to read the commands in every work. He always asks questions on how to do the problems.
  3. He complains a lot about his homework and weekly tests. He needs more than 2 hours to finish his daily homework and studying for his weekly tests.
  4. He is smart and loves to read books in free time.

According to story shared by my friend, O is very smart indeed, but he has difficulty to concentrate on certain tasks and tends to avoid any academic activities, such as: reading, writing and studying. He avoids those activities and many other, because he does not understand the purpose of those activities. He hates reading because for him, reading is painful. Through play therapy sessions, O is intervened by giving him understanding on the importance of reading ability. He has to read the instructions of his own chosen toys. He has to understand the rules of the game before he can play that game, with my friend (as his mate).

Regarding his writing problem, I had a letter-writing activity. The first one was to help him remembering names of colors for his English spelling test. If he could not remember on how to write ‘yellow’ correctly, he refused to write that down. So, I decided to write him a letter contains of ‘yellow’ word and I asked him to write the same word in his practice paper. It went well and I was so happy with the result.

Now, my friend and I are working hard to help him find the excitement of studying. If you can help us to solve this problem, please drop it through my email or commenting on this post.