Lemonade, Anyone?

I am a lazy bump. For the past 10 days I’ve stayed at my parents with my big belly – 34 weeks old. My ob-gyn told me to have a rest and take an off from work. I never had such a privilege since I got pregnant – and I think my baby feels relieved with the order to rest.

While I’m staying lazy, I read some books, doing scrapbook for my little bub, talk to some people regarding a lot of things, cuddling with my niece and nephew and mostly, enjoying my mom’s home cook meals. I detached myself from everything that used to be important for me – being busy.

The first few days, I was feeling lost. It was like I spent time doing nothing and I felt guilty. But then after a few days, I pictured the upcoming sleepless nights after my little baby has born. It is the time to pamper myself and be grateful with all this free time. By then, I could enjoy my time and wishing not to pass it too quickly.

But … Even though you’re in a good mood for holiday, life still manage to throw you some lemons. One thing that I’m grateful is the fact that I’m surrounded by those people who love me – dearly! They would listen to me, embrace me, cry with me and strengthen me. I know that I am not alone.

So what will I do with those lemons? At first, I deny the facts that I was hurt. I told myself that everything thrown at me was garbage, unnecessary issues and I only need to throw it out right away. Then come the stage of anger – in which I complained to the universe, telling that I don’t deserve to be treated and accused so badly. I had hard time to calm myself down and let my emotions flow out. I cried it out last night and got that feeling of peace when suddenly I realized that I was at anger stage. I told myself that it will pass. I only need to shift my point-of-view and let it all go. My life will not be miserable by whatever people throw at me – unless I let them break my life.

I had that hard time of believing myself because some people viewed me as a fat, not pretty and unfashionable. I believed what they said to me and as a result, I gained 6 pounds in an instant, I wear worn out jeans and shirt to work and left my heels in the shelf. Until one co-worker sat me down and asked me: What’s going on with me? In that moment, I realized that I was the one who’s responsible of my life and how I see it. I went home with a grateful heart and started to believe in myself again – brick by brick. I put on make up again, I bought new clothes, back to my 10cm heels and gain my confidence back.

Since I’m carrying my little baby now – I know that my pregnancy is at the top priority, more than anything. I should not care of what others told me now … I am who I am. I am too blessed to be depressed or stressed.

I will use the lemons throw at me to make myself glass of lemonade to cool off the heat. Or I can drink it with warm water and lose some weight after I give birth. Sometimes I still lose myself in the maze that others draw for me – but I will build my own maze. I am the one who’s responsible for my life.

I already buy a big basket for the lemons that others will throw at me. I’m ready … Because I am blessed. God shall walk with me – or even carry me around. He would sit with me while we sip on the lemonade.


Children: Miracle or Curse?

Along the way and through every corner, I have met numbers of parents. Ideally, parents are able to love and accept their children as who they are. But, in reality, it is hard to find the ideal conception of being parents.

Yesterday, I talked to my Aunt. She has 3 son, but her eldest son passed away a few years ago due to a 4-day high fever. Her second son was diagnosed with developmental problems, in which cause him stops growing physically at certain age. So, even though he is now at Secondary Level, his younger brother is way higher than him.

My Aunt admitted that there are some days in which she feel down and doubting God of His miraculous plan over her son. But most of the time, God shows to her right away the proof of His love. Her son gets high marks on is academic achievement, plays keyboard very well, dance very well (there is a video of him in Youtube) and he has his ministry in music. Sometimes, she will see or bump into another child who has more severe problems than her son. This scene always strengthen her that she can helps her son to soar high.

And as Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle“. My Aunt chose to be happy and see her life as full of miracle. What is your choice?