The Colours of My Friends

Today, I had a long conversation with my mother and sister-in-law during our lunch time. I started the opening by telling them stories of my best friends who are gay and lesbian, about how hard is it for them to fight against the stream and keep on living their daily life. The story went on as my mom and sister-in-law asked me questions on how do they strive for living, what do they do to themselves and how do their family accept them at last.

Then, my sister-in-law said something that makes me realize how rich I am as a person. She said that since she got married to my brother and stayed at the same house, she started to know the reality of human lives (do I sound too much?). She started to learn that human have their own colors and sometimes they want to show it off. I have numbers of friends who failed in their relationships and ended it just a moment before their wedding day. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. To make the list longer, my sister-in-law took no time to mention them out.

with my friends - Singapore 2009

After having my lunch, I was thinking to myself and it made me realized of how rich I am as a person. I have so many friends from so many different backgrounds. I’ve met so many people with their own dreams, stories, hope and tears. I’ve talked to so many people who can’t wait to share their happiness, sorrow and tragedy.

A good friend just told me her story of aborting her baby because she couldn’t help to raise another baby. She has two young children to be taken care of and also, she has to think of her unfaithful husband. At the same time, another good friend cracked open his hidden identity as a gay (I have another gay friend). Another good friend of mine, who is happen to be a brother at one monastery also had a problem. His superior (whatever you named it) asked him to leave outside the monastery while still holding onto his eternal vow. At last, he will be able to decide whether he will still be a priest, or he will live as a layman.

I think I have to be thankful to meet those extraordinary people, who enrich me through their stories and share their wisdom to me. Even though they have their own tragic stories and unhappy ending, they still the colours of my life!

Cake with No Flour

Imagine if you are going to bake a cake or make homemade bread, and suddenly you realize that you have no flour! You won’t be able to bake your cake, because there won’t be any cake without flour…

The idea of this reflection came across my mind when I drove home from the orphanage today. I thought to myself that flour, eggs, sugar and other ingredients are not useful when they stand for themselves. They can blend together to make cake or bread, but no single ingredient can be so useful that way. I’m missing my friends a lot, especially during these hard times of doing internship and preparing my next steps for the future.

I’ve made friends with so many people. From kindergarten to high school. From Malang to Aceh and other Eastern regions in Indonesia. From Asia to Australia and even Africa. It’s always lots of fun of having friends, wherever you  go.

They call me an icy girl

They call me an icy girl

I also learned an important lesson, that I can be who I am now, because my friends (and family) gave their impact on me, someway. They were there to lend their hands when I couldn;t stand up by myself. They were there to be my ears, when I need someone to listen to me. Even my Masters friends now, they are here to make me a sensitive person, because due to their observations, I am such a cold-blooded woman. Well, I never kill someone, but they think that I am emotionally disturbed!

I know that they just make jokes about me. I know that they care for me. I think because I have left my sensitive and romantic life for a few years. I love what I am doing, but according to them, my life will be complete if I can put that pieces back into myself. I wonder…

Anyway, whatever they are saying about me … I do love them as part of me! They are the flours to my cake … (does it sound like a song?)