2010 Happenings

The year of 2010 is coming to its end. The journey of this year varies for each and everyone of us. Some people may end this year with grateful hearts and being thankful for the happenings. But some of us may end this year with weariness and anxiety (they keep on adding the negative thoughts for next year!)

For me personally, this year has been a collection of so many valuable lessons. My study, career, family, faith and many more. I would like to share some of my experiences – while counting down to Christmas Day and New Year’s eve.

This year is a year where I revealed one of many life calling for me, I befriended with many gay and lesbian people (mostly gay). It was started on 2004 when I met the first gay and lesbian best friends of mine. But after that year, I didn’t get in touch with new gay/lesbian friends, until this year. One gay friend called me as ‘gay magnet’ because gay people are easily open up themselves to me. I heard so many stories about their lives. Being locked in a bathroom for days, being kicked from the house, should eat from different plate (while having family gathering), injected with testosterone by force, or being threatened to have sex with a stranger as a way to save himself (or else, his family will know about his orientation).


During this year, I also found out that I was close personally with 2 gay men. Sometimes, I feel stupid and cheated, because they didn’t let me know since the beginning. The first guy is now becoming my best friend, after he came out to me. The second guy was very ignorant. He asked me out and we had a number of dates. Even though strangely I could sense that he’s a gay since the very first time we met, I still gave him chances. That could be said as time-wasting incidents, but I’m trying to look at the positive side. To be honest, I’m still having argument within me. I’d love to help and defend them as who they are, but I’m tired of being cheated by them, personally. Oh well, I think I should differ between my personal life and professional life, as a psychologist.

During this year, I also learned a lot as a professional. I was supervised by Josephine Ratna M. Psych during the process of my thesis. I did case study and wrote a report on the effectiveness of CBT on psychotic individuals. The process was a valuable life lesson, because I could learn a lot from my clients – how delusional belief was truly a way to satisfy their deepest needs. I also learned that our thoughts or brain is a magnificent system! It is way beyond words, it’s just great – the way it works, connects, re-connects and disconnects among their components.

Beside professional life, I also revealed the deeper side of my faith. The journey of my life as a Catholic person is renewed this year. I learned more about Catholic saints, I read books on devotional works (such as: Come be My Light – Mother Teresa) and retreat to the old way of doing the Rosary and Litany. It is absolutely a new journey and will be a long way … I’m excited!


My family …
Well, it is also a moment for my family to welcome a new life. We now are ‘forcing’ each other to go for Sunday mass together. It may seems small and not too meaningful, but it is actually big for us. We’ve been going for mass separately, according to our own preferences and schedules. But now, we’re going together as a family every Sunday. Praise the Lord!

Anyway … This is all for now. I know that my happenings were not as festive as Julian Assange or Mark Zuckerberg, but I value every one of them as something big and meaningful for me.

Share your 2010 happenings with me!

Writing is my way to share it to you.

Dedication for Jehan Safitri

Jehan Safitri is one of my closest friends for the past two years. Despite our differences in religion, race or belief, we made a good friendship and we truly shared a lot!

Last Wednesday, she gave birth to her first son, Wildan. She was so excited with the process – the whole process actually. I still remember, when she went to the hospital for the first time, to check on her pregnancy, she was with us – Edwin, Afif and me. Her husband was not around, because he was working in Jakarta. So, we were the lucky ones to receive the good news from her doctor.

Unfortunately, Wildan – her baby – was able to enjoy this world for 4 hours only. He passed away because his organs were not completely formed yet. Sad but true …

We all wish you and your family a prayer, that you may be able to make peace with this situation and believe that Wildan is now happy without a chance to suffer in this world.

We love you, Jeje!

Writing is my way to share it to you.

Saving Babies

“Saving Babies” is a show in Australia Network – and I’m watching it now, while writing this article. One thought that crosses my mind is how grateful it is for us to be able to live. Well, supposedly we feel grateful for our lives.

Unfortunately, we usually take our live for granted. We forget how to be thankful for our live. We forget how great it is to live day-by-day and enjoying the live that God has given to us.

It happens to me lately, where I started to loosen up myself – a bit at first, get bigger by the rolling day. I forget that live is not merely my own, it should be given back to the Creator – through ministry, helping others and reflect every lesson that I’ve got from my life experiences.

Back to the show, there are many babies who were born premature or having disabilities. Their parents are trying to hold on to a little spark of hope that they have. Their parents can see a glimpse of hope in the midst of their sorrow. And miraculously, this faith strengthen them to face the fact that they are having a child with special condition.

When the doctors are able to save their babies, they feel such a huge relief and being thankful for a second chance given to their babies. And from their expression, I can see one thing that I miss: being thankful for my life.

Whatever state you’re in now: at the peak of your happiness or at the bottom of your sorrow, remember that you will learn valuable lesson from that experience – that life is a gift for you. May you choose to live your life wisely, because everything in life is about choice …

Why not choosing to be thankful for your life?

Writing is my way to share it to you.

My Perspective of Holiday-ing

Finally, I’ve done all the internship reports and I can have some time off for myself. It’s my second day and I really am enjoying my time. I’ve been read a few books in which the characters defined the meaning of having holiday on their own, but I never really understood what they were doing. Now, I can understand the subjective meaning of having a holiday. It doesn’t really matter where you are, what you are doing or who you are with. It’s all in your mind and how you can relax every muscle in your body and most of all, having a perfect state of mind .. that you are holiday-ing.

Yesterday, I woke up at 8am. Started my day by having a hot shower and followed by a good morning hug from my niece. I had my breakfast slowly and drove to my Granny’s house for a visit. After a few hours of snacking and having light conversations about all the things crossed in our minds, I went home and turned on my TV cable. It was a great moment of listening to Rock Tunes at V channel. Started with Slipknot (Psychosocial) and closed by …. I couldn’t remember, because I feel asleep by then. I listened about 8-10 songs and enjoyed it very much. I could watch the latest video clips of Daughtry (No Surprise), Linkin Park (New Divide) and Madina Lake (Let’s Get Outta Here).

In the evening, I enjoyed the preciuos moments to be with my family. I made a cold Milo for my niece, while she was dancing, singing around and finally sitting at my lap to watch her billion photos in my computer. The evening was closed when I sent my Dad to an optic. He needed a new pair of glasses and I need to buy a good sunny, because I’ve spent my daytime driving around. Well, the shopping was good and I was glad with the price given after discount.

Today .. I started my day with Sunday Mass. The moment was perfect, I just couldn’t ask for more.

Life Changing Moments

Everyone has their own experiences in their life that may be considered as life changing moments. One person may sees marriage as a life changing moment in his/her life. Others may see life differently after their loved ones has gone. Whatever the events that may happen, the important point that we may get is the changing of our lives. From a certain event, we may get better or we may get worse. From a certain event, we may learn the lesson, or we may live the old life as usual.

One changing moment for me was when my Grandma passed away. She was one of the kindest woman that I ever know in my life. She never get mad at other people and she was able to solve any kinds of problems with love and smile. She had 9 children (my mom is the 6th) and 4 step-sons, for my Grandpa married twice. She never look down at Grandpa’s 2nd wife or the children. When she passed away 8 years ago, her step-sons were there and mourned as they missed their own mother.

My Grandma watches me from up above

My Grandma watches me from up above

I kissed her cold body and I was so sad, for I knew that would be my last time of touching her face and kiss her. She used to stay at my house a few months in a year. The longest was on 1997, when she stayed for almost a year. She slept at my room and wes shared stories together. I always helped her to button her pyjamas every afternoon after she took her bath. Even though her physical condition was not good, her warm heart and love was never change…

Other people may see life differently. My cousin had a worse car accident a few years back with his friends. One of them passed away instantly and the other one was passed away a few days later. He got numbers of cuts and bruises. He also got his legs operated. It was a super shocking moment for him and his family. After that accident, he was afraid of rainy days, because the thunder might cause pain in his legs (due to he metal planted inside his legs). His life was changed all at once…

One of my friend had his experiences of being kicked away by his girlfriend. They had been together for 2 years and my friend had already paid some amount of money to buy a new house for both of them. The girl did not know it at all. Then suddenly, she left my friend alone. She said that their relationship was never work out, because my friend’s mother hated her so much. Six months later, she engaged with another man and within the same year after leaving my friend, she married to that guy. She gave birth a months later, for she carried the baby before the marriage. My friend moved to another country and started his new life over  there. I know that he’s been trying hard to forget all about his ex-girlfriend, but the sadness kills him until today. Even though he says that the sadness period is over, I still can see a disbelief in his eyes.

Have you had your own life-changing moments?

Share it with me and others….

Inequality of Social Status

I know, this topic has been as old as my great grandma’s shoes, but still we have to face inequality of social status nowadays. It seems that the inequality will be around for the next few decades, even though some countries have overcome this issue (at least trying hard to do so!). For example, Obama who won the US President election this year. It seems that US people started to overcome the ancient issue of race inequality. Hopefully,  Obama winning moment is a winning moment for all negros and other discriminated races around the world.

Seal, Heidi Klum and kids

Seal, Heidi Klum and kids

Mix race marriage is also facing difficulties, especially when it comes into family and society acceptance. It’s not easy to break the wall of traditional culture and the belief of which race is dominant over others. Don’t forget the issue of the rich and the poor still has its impact nowadays (or should I say, the impact is stronger now?). The poor has to work real real hard to gain a small amount of money. While the rich may go abroad to spend their weekend (Friday evening to Sunday morning).

A poor woman in her tiny house

A poor woman in her tiny house

For the poor, the standard living cost is too high to achieve. Don’t mention to them about having a new pair of shoes during winter, they even do not have enough food in their daily lives. Say something about this, please. While for the rich, they can have fine dining in luxury restaurants for 5 times a week. I know, no one can be blamed in this situation. For each of them have their own lives and destiny. But a little respect and helping hands will make the poor happier (hopefully).

Another example of social inequality is in the issue of gay and lesbian. They live in the same world as us, but it seems that they have been excluded. The way people look at them is very different. The way people treat them is also different. I have two homosexual friends and we’ve been close for a few years. What I learn from them is a true heart to love and to be loved. They have no differences compare to us, beside their sexual orientation.


Can I say the social inequality is here today because we were easily judge on others? It might be. The superiority and goodness feeling is among those factors that may contribute to the judgment upon certain races, sexual orientation or SES. If we want to see this world moving into a better direction, I think it’s time to re-judge others as who they are and what they are capable of doing. Not based on their skin colors and thickness of their wallet.

That may be one of our resolutions next year!