It Will Be Given To You Accordingly 

We all know the saying of “The grass is greener on the other side” – and that’s ny current struggle. Whenever I look at my friends’ social media, I would wonder to myself – I wish it was me. For me, the most wonderful dream is to travel around the world, to speak different language, to enjoy different kind of dishes and to be a citizen of the world. It has been within me since I was very young.  

I did not travel much when I was young. The first time I went to Jakarta was at Year 11. For me, a small town girl, Jakarta is huge! Jakarta is the centre of life in Indonesia. But I never knew it until I was quite a grown up. The thought of “I wish I was born into a rich family” was sneaking here and there. Whenever I saw my classmates came back to school, I was having post-holiday syndrome. They wore the latest G-shock (I am from that generation), wear the newest shoes or some branded bags. While me, I was just the same old me. My parents only bought me one new bag every new school year, sometimes they skipped it whenever my Aunt gave us new school bag for our birthdays. I was inferior. I was believing that my grass is grey, almost died – while the others were green and even greener each day. 

As for now, I am blessed enough with my current job, in which it allows me to travel a lot. It allows me to meet new people, enjoying new dishes and still have the time to be with my family. But still, the thought of comparison is sneaking in. It steals my joy,  feed my jealousy and makes me ask a lot of questions – what if, why me and so many more. I realize that I need to stop, so I decided to write this post. 

I learned that by doing our work passionately, the rest will be taken care of by our God. We will see result according to our portion of work. We will be given, according to our quality of “giving our best”. 

I will enjoy my Sunday with a new belief, that I am blessed, that I have more than enough to be a blessing and that I will be given accordingly. God will always listen to your prayer, including mine, and be still for He is now working upon you. 

Have a blessed Sunday


The Power of The Dream

It is the 12th day of 2015 and I’ve been using my brain to think too much. One condition that got me to a lot of places, and also to a lot of down moment. But hey, I’d rather see that as my blessing, because I won’t do reckless stuff or let myself into danger without any consideration.

What do I think the most lately? My dream. I’ve been having this dream for almost as long as I can remember. To live abroad and see the great life that this world offer. I remember when I was a little girl, I would sat in front of the only national channel and read aloud the credits of every western movies or shows. I told myself that English shall be my second language. And it is now.

I had the taste of living in Australia for a year and until now, it was the best year ever in my life. But, it was only a preview. For some reasons, I had to go back to Indonesia and be with my family. During good days, I can’t stop being grateful for this chance – of meeting my boyfriend (husband now), of seeing my niece and nephew grow up, to be with my parents when our family gone through the hardness of life and simply being with my friends. But during stormy days, I would blame myself because I didn’t pursue my dream a little harder 11 years ago. I imagined what if I pushed my Dad a little hard 11 years ago to let me continue my Masters in Australia? I might get my PR by now, living and working there, and most probably, I had my moments of traveling to European countries. None of those are in my hands now.

I’m blessed because I’m surrounded by good people, who always remind me that I don’t have to give up on my dreams and goals. But at the same time, I also have to let God shaped me through His delayed promises. Yesterday, I got my a-ha moment when I stumbled into one quote on Instagram (by @cgi_loveee). Picture is below. It reminded me that I don’t have to change my goals, I only have to adjust my plans every now and then – in order to get closer to the goal of my life.

I also remember one moment on 2007 when I met one mentor in our Catholic group. He used to be our mentor back in Australia. He said to me that I will be back to Australia and live there, after I’ve done my homework in Indonesia. And for these past years, I hold on to that one prophecy. But it means that I have to be an optimistic person and faithful to His promise.

Until when? Ask the Big Guy that question. I bet He won’t answer. He will only show it to you and me.

And to close this, I’d like to share the first part of Celine Dion’s song “The Power of The Dream”

“Deep within each heart
 There lies a magic spark
 That lights the fire of our imagination
 And since the dawn of man
 The strength of just ‘I can’
 Has brought together people of all nations

 There’s nothin’ ordinary in the living of each day
 There’s a special part everyone of us will play”