The Portion of You in Community

You and me composed the community.

You, me and them composed a larger community.

We are all part of community … started from our family, school friends, colleagues, or club mates. No matter which community you are involve in, you are part of community.Some of community members are active, sometimes too active. But some of them are passive, and of course, they could be too passive to contribute.

I’ve been part of many communities in my life. My family, cell group, catholic community, colleague, or university friends. Each of the community has its own demands on me, as a member. The other members also have their demands on me, as part of the community, just like them.

I also have my own demands onto the community, as well as to its members. I wish that the relationships build could works two ways, me to you .. and you to me.

The portion of YOU in community can be defined in many ways. I know a girl who was busy handling an event in her community. At first, she was excited, wrote down everything into her list-to-do/bring. She was also the first member to arrive at the venue and decided to volunteered herself to clean up the whole house. On the final day, she cried hard and get mad on the other members, because she thought that she was the only one who was willing to get busy, while the others were enjoying their time leisurely. Who could be blame for such thing? You tell me …

Being an active member and contribute to your community is something positive and suggested, but being too active can bring you down.

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Farewell for Father Vollering O, Carm

Father Petrus Josephus Vollering passed away on October 9, 2008. He was born in Zwammerdam on August 25, 1918. I barely knew him, except that I received one of my last penitences from him. I always saw him during Sunday mass, because most of the time I went to Sunday mass in the chapel of the elderly house for Catholic priest, in which he lived there. He was a humble person and was one example of being faithful unto God. On a closing speech, Father Heri O, Carm said that Father Vollering was a favorite priest in Batu, Malang. He dedicated his life for people in Batu since 1997 until 2005! 23 years of dedication…

After Requiem Mass

After Requiem Mass

There was a story about Father Vollering and people in Batu. Back to 2002, Fr Vollering got a serious operation in Netherlands. Knowing a chance that their favorite priest would be moved into an elderly house for Catholic priests, people collected hundreds of signatures to state that they wanted Fr Vollering to stay in Batu for another year. This act of love won Bishop’s heart! And yeah, Fr Vollering stayed for another 3 years in Batu. What a lovely priest they had …

God be with you

God be with you

Farewell for you, Fr …

We believe that God saw your heart of dedication…

Schizophrenia : What’s What?

Schizophrenia is known as the most deadly disorder that caused individual’s impairment in life functioning skills. There are abnormalities in a person’s cognitive, affective and behavior performance. It usually seems as loosing connection between one’s perspective of the world AND the real world. People may see them as crazy, but I don’t think no one deserve to be called that way.

Common symptoms of schizophrenia are hallucination, delusions and demonstrate disorganized and unusual way of thinking. These symptoms known as Positive Symptoms or easy-to-spot behaviors.

People with schizophrenia also experience a moment when they feel lack of motivation and emotional response or flat affect. In this period, they may dislike all their daily activities and even their favorite hobbies. This symptom is called Negative Symptom. They may give the unexpected response, such as: laughing out loud on a funeral or continue giggling without any reasons.

The symptoms usually emerge on late teens or young adults age. A time when a person needs to be independent and living by themselves (move out from parent’s house). A time when a person needs to execute their own decisions and supposedly be able to support themselves.

Hearing Voices

Hearing Voices

Schizophrenia is incurable and still unknown in the cause or causes. It may be the combination between genetic and environment. The treatment for schizophrenic is made to bring a person back to his/her normal life, in which he/she can do any normal activities, like they used to do. Even though it is incurable, by giving antipsychotic medicines and social supports, numbers of schizophrenics are going down the hill. They can bring themselves back to the community.

It is an assignment for all of us: counsellor, psychiatrist, psychologist and people in the community to give a never ending social supports for people with schizophrenia. It will bring hope for them.

Way to go!

We are All Connected

Have you ever heard people say that the world is very small? Does it ring a bell? The world is not enough, that’s what James Bond said…

I have realized this fact since a few years ago but I did not notice it. Until yesterday, my best friend told me a story. So, I have two best friends, Roy and Boen. I introduced Boen to Roy last year, and they became friends since then. It turned out that they already had connection before I introduced them.

  • Boen’s sister is Roy’s brother’s friend
  • Boen’s sister is Roy’s colleague at work

It’s a good thing to have all the connections among us. Some of us may be lucky enough to have chances to meet a lot of people, abroad and local. But some of us have to stay in the same small town for the rest of their lives. I have this view because I see myself as a person who loves challenges and adventure, meeting new people and learn more about human being. I love to know that each and every one of us has connection in some ways…

By having connections with others, we can have a chance to learn more from them and vice versa. They can learn from us too. By using the connections that we have, we can continue to know others more in order to respect them.

Let’s use this connection to build a healthy community and a better world (final destination, right)

Light Conversation

Yeah, I had a light conversation with 4 friends this evening. We had dinner together. It was unplanned, but the rest of the night was great. We talked about many things, a wide range of topics. From daily activities, church life, charity, soulmate, entering 30s and politics.

It comes to my mind that everybody has their own life experiences that can make them wiser in making decisions. Even a woman can be as tough as a man because life wanted her to do so. Or a man can be as gentle as he needed to be when he wants to meet the ‘requirements’ in a relationship. Talking about life is always complicated because life itself is complicated.

All of my friends agree that we should do our best to boost our limits. Not just in work pace or career but in relationship as well. We can’t just stand still as wives, meanwhile our husbands are working hard out there. Now is not a day of fairy tales where a woman can sit still as a princess. Now is a day when woman is holding the same key as man. Both sexes can open the same door of success and be happy with their lives.

I was surrounded by those smart and wise friends of mine. I considered myself to be lucky, because I can learn from their experiences. The meaning of sharing is something bigger than just talking. The lesson that we can learn is very valuable.

Conversation

Conversation

Lesson of This Week

Another lesson I’ve learned this week is about campus life in Indonesia.

I’m trying to pour out everything into words, without a need to point my fingers on any institutions or persons. So, I was queuing up in front of a closed registration desk on 12.15pm to re-enroll (we need to do enrollment twice). The guard said that the person was having a lunch break and they would open at 1pm. Then, they were open at 1.30pm. Well, 30 minutes late is very common in Indonesia (we have to admit that).

Queuing up

Queuing up

On the desk, they refused my application because I lost my used-to-be examination card. Well, I didn’t lose it, because a lady in the offices forgot to keep my card and she said, ‘Oh, you don’t need that card anymore’ (stupidly, I trusted her). So, I had to make a report to the police station and bring back a piece of confirmation letter signed by the officer, stated that I lost my card.

The printer in the first police station was out of ink (what a co-incidence). So, I had to go the other police station.

On the second station, the officer asked me whether I bring a letter from my university to confirm that I really am a student in my campus. With a fake smile on my face, I gave him the copy of my certificate and payment slips, just to make him believe. Thank God, he did not ask any further and type the letter for me. Oops, not right away. He tried to make other police officers (4 of them) to type that letter for me (they think it was a kind of throwing ball on the game… )

Common View

Common View

After 1.5 hours, I finally reached my campus (it was 3.15pm). I was very late for my class (started at 2pm), but the lady in the office already made sure that she would checked my name on the class registration list.

Then … I was part of a very long queue. People worked so slow. So, I have to waited there for another 1 hour and 15 minutes to get it all done (giving all the copies of the documents, took photo for student card, register my name to get a student’s jacket, etc).

Lesson that I’ve learned:

1. Bring books and iPod anytime I go to the campus for any kind of registration. At least, I can read my handouts and study.

2. Put a smile. A big one. Because they dislike a grumpy student.

3. Always photocopy documents more than they would need (they said). Or else, you would need to walk out from the queue just because they need more copies of your documents.

4. Be patient. There is no used to be grumpy and mad. They just don’t care.

—–

As long as I can remember, it took me only 30 minutes (max) when I registered in UWA – Perth. They’ve done a terrific and efficient works.

Well, welcome home for me…

Community Life

KRK TOM 2004 - Perth

KRK TOM 2004 - Perth

No one can live by himself. No one can fight this world by himself. No one can conquer his personal legend by himself. There must be people out there who help us in many ways, seen or unseen.

I’ve been living my life as a part of community since I was very young. Just to name a few: scout, school magazine team, school organization, traditional music performers, volleyball team and Catholic youth groups. I just can’t let myself live solitary in this world. Community life bring me to the max of my capacity, because I can do more than I did for myself. I can push myself more when I’m surrounded with people who need my help (and vice versa).

with AIYEP participants

with AIYEP participants

The benefits of living in community life are too many to mentioned.

  1. As a part of community life, we can gain support and positive feedback to enhance ourselves. Community support us with feedback and support in order to help us grow more beautifully.
  2. We can contribute into community with our talents, so it will make us more confident of ourselves. Not to be proud, but to realize our existence and in which ways we can help others.
  3. We can share the experiences of being together in a group, in which we can feel the same happiness, the same sadness and laugh when we already walk through that experiences together.
  4. We can learn others’ experiences as well: the fall down, the up high, the dark moments and many more. From that sharing moments, we will learn new things as well. It will help us to understand more about life and the world that we’re living in.
  5. Having a 2nd family.
My family in Outbond Activities

My family in Outbond Activities

Be part of a community and you will experience the benefits mentioned. All you need to do is make sure that you want to blend with others to gain more knowledge and understandings.

Welcome, mate!

HOPE Visited Women Behind Bars

I never imagine how life would be behind bars and thick wall. Those women that I met this afternoon were strong enough to face the truth of their reality. They made their mistakes, paid their times and -hopefully- learn their lesson. Many of them were young and bright. I supposed they would be a succeed out there. Some of them were serving inside the jail. They never stop to spread the words of God and strengthen each other.

I was part of my community called HOPE. And today I got a huge responsibility to be a preacher. My first time in public. Well, what else to say beside I was very nervous. But thank God I did it good (according to what others said). I was talking about why problems come into our lives and what does God want from that.

When problems come, we tend to forget to ask, “What lesson that I will learn this time?”. We tend to ask God the same old question, “Why me?”

Praying Hands

Praying Hands

From my reflections (= reading bible, books, listen to others and my own thoughts), I can conclude some important points (read Hebrews 12: 5-11):

1. God wants us to be strong and tough. He will never let His children grow as cranky and moody generation who will never be able to work hard and will easily fall down.

2. God wants to mold our character according to His will. He wants us to be: humble, patient, strong and calm. It means that we should be wiser with every problem that we ever encounter. When we succeed at one stage of problem, we need to be humble and not to be proud, because He wants us to be a living witness that can help and pray for others who are dealing with the same problems.

3. God wants us to work hard with Him to solve the problems that we have. As human, we don’t really have the power to overcome everything, but in Him, we can do the impossible. We need to keep on praying and at the same time, keep doing out best!

We learn our lessons too today… that we should serve and help others no matter who they are, where they come from and what are their backgrounds. As long as they want to know Jesus, we can help them. Like those women behind bars, they still have the spirit of serving God. They deserve the chance…. as long as they want to change.

I pray that HOPE can bring a real hope for all of those women behind bars…

HOPE

HOPE

Youth Retreat – Batu, June 2, 2008

I never imagined that one day I would be a group leader for youth retreat. If it was not for Ike, then I might refused. Ike was one of my best friend. We were together in university (doing psychology) and still together when we worked in Jakarta and Cirebon. But guess what, I learnt a lot today…

Ike was the speaker on the session about ‘Who Am I?’ She could handle those bunch of teens who were barely know her. The session went well with about 50 teenagers altogether. The point that she made was the importance of self-image. How do they see themselves and how do they perceive others’ opinion about them. Sometimes teens are easily distracted by tiny-bity appearance problems (let’s say: weight gain, pimples, no boyfriend/girlfriend around) and ignore the more urgent matters (how to be fight our weaknesses, how to build good and healthy relationship with others). It is an important task for parents, teachers and those who are working in youth care to promote positive self-image, so the teens won’t get disappointed with what they have but working hard to boost their talents.

with my group

As a group leader, I was a bit awkward at first, but then I could blend with the teens. I could sense why parents are usually stuck with their teens. It seems that the age gap and different way to view the world have separated them away. My responsibility was to explain the process of the activities and make sure the whole group to finish their works. Each activity was designed to help the teens to understand more about themselves. At the 1st session, they were asked to write down 3 good and bad experiences in which they were labeled by others (for example: Teacher A said that I’m stupid, I feel sad OR Teacher B said that I’m creative, I’m so excited). Each experience then need to be match with certain feeling that followed. This introduction into feeling was made to help the teens understand that there are numbers of feelings, not just happy, sad, mad or excited.

group discussion

The 2nd session was designed for the teens to find about the strength of a friend on their left and a friend on their right side. It could help some teens to realized that others view them positively. Sometimes they just not realized their own strength. On the 3rd session, each person got a feedback from their closest friend in a group to fix their weaknesses and be more confidence with themselves. The feedback given must be in positive term, such as: you will look nicer if you brush your hair nicely OR you will make more friends if you can smile more often.

The final session was closed with 1.5 hour activity in which they drew their own universe in a paper. This activity was meant to help the teens to understand and realized the components of themselves and appreciate others who were meaningful to them (family, friends, teachers, those who sponsor their school fee, etc). And… I had a duty to close the session with short message for the participants. All I said was to boost their positive self-image by doing positive activities and be open to all the criticism and advices that come from others. Not to take the criticism without any thoughts but… critically think through it.

closing session