Dear Parents … See What You Made Me Do

One man told me that he has no reasons to stay alive. For him, life is a matter of living one day at a time, waiting to die. Whenever he hops on the plane, he wishes that the plane will crash and he can die. He does not have the bravery to take his own life, because he knows that it will be painful. So he wishes for something to happen and end his life.

Another man is living what it seems to be a normal life. He is working 9 to 5 diligently. He gets married and have two children. His wife is working and independent. However, something ate him from the inside. The wounds came out when he sees his children disobey him. He would scream, beat, almost choking them and ended up crying for all the guilty feelings that he carries.

A young woman came to me. She mentioned that she has been touched by her older brother, family driver and stranger. She does not know what to do and how to seek help. She told her mother and mom just ask her to shrugged it away. She also experience some bangs to her head as she refused to play with her older brother. She is now living a life full of cloud. She hides herself wherever she can. With big clothes, many bags to carry, no make up, online all the time.


 

Those are all the true story of adults who experienced abuses as children.

They may seem to live a normal life, but in many ways, they are not functioning well. Even though physically they grow up and look like adults, deep inside they crave for the love and attention from those they love, mostly parents and family members. The same persons who might do abuses to those innocent souls.

Some abused children may end up keeping the hate and anger to their perpetrators. Some go through a hard way of seeking help and overcome the abuse effects. Some others live a lie where they normalise what the perpetrators did, especially when the abuse was done by parents.

As far as they try to normalise the abusive events, it will not helpful at all. It may give them a fake feeling for being at peace – “at least it does not happen anymore”. Or the thought that “all parents slip through their parenting journey once in a while”.

Dear parents, see what you made your children do to themselves and those around them!

I have been working with a lot of abused children, and every time I see one, my heart breaks. I have been dealing with adults who were being abused as children, they still stuck emotionally as they can’t grow. They refuse to get help, because getting help will make things worse. Getting help means open up to others that their beloved mothers or fathers or siblings did that to them. Too much to handle.

I will write long on the therapeutic journey here. But I just want abusive parents to know that the wounds will never get healed and your action disable your children in many ways. So that you know!

Letters to God

A Letter from an abused child

Dear God, I’m writing this letter in the middle of a sunny day. I have to finish it now, because my step Dad is sleeping after his hangover. My Mom is working now, so there is no one to disturb me. I am praying that You could change my step Dad’s heart. He hates me. He never likes me because he always beats me up. Sometimes he beats Mommy too. I know that Mommy cried every night. She has to work to pay for the loan, my school fee and his drinking habit.

I wish I have wings to bring Mommy away from this house. It’s not a house anymore, it’s more like hell. Dad usually comes home in the early morning, around 4am. He will wake me and Mommy up. When he is in a good mood, he will tell us the story of his bets and gambling mates. But when he loses a lot, he will beat up my Mom and ask her for more money. Doesn’t he understand that Mommy has no money left? Doesn’t he have heart to care for us?

Writing a letter to God

Writing a letter to God

Can You send an angel for us? Well, I imagine the story of Gabriel who came and visit Mother Mary to tell about her fate and future as Jesus’ mother. Can You send one of those angels to come and visit Mommy and tell her that everything will be alright? That Dad will be gone away. Can You ask your angel to take my Dad away? Please…

I think I have to go now. Please read this letter, God. My Dad is coughing; he’s going to get out of bed soon. I wish he’s in the good mood today. The last bruises are still painful.

Thank You, God!

A Letter from fatherless child

Dear Jesus,

Today I had enough. My classmates keep on laughing at me, because I have no father. They all have fathers and they can play with their fathers. Where is my Dad? Why Mom never call him to come for dinner anymore? I remember when I was a small child; he used to come and brought some toys for me. But it was long time ago. I never see him anymore…

I feel bad about myself. Did I do something wrong so Dad won’t stay with us anymore? Or is it because Mom is so mean to him? I never see Mom angry at him, but still he went away. Does he ever think about me or Mom? I always think about him. I always imagine he would come home and take me to ride on his bike. I wish I could bring Dad to school and show him to my classmates. I want to have my Dad back!

Praying to God

Praying to God

I heard Mom cried last night. She sobbed hard in her room. I heard it, because I stood in front of her room. She never knew it. I know that she’s tired to face the truth of my Dad. She knows that I will keep on asking questions about my Dad. I know that she doesn’t know where he is. I love you, mom!

Jesus, if you could give my Dad back…

I believe when he is around, I will be happier. Mom will be happier too, because Dad can help her to do all the house chores. We can go out to the parks or beach every weekend.

If You can hear me, please say ‘yes’, Jesus. Thank you!

A Letter from a poor father

God, it’s me again.

Today I have to see my daughter cried again. She was very hungry and all I had with me was leftover bread in the cupboard. I had to look at the window when she ate that, because I couldn’t hold my tears.

When Dad is worry

When Dad is worry

I have been worked so hard. And as You know, I have 2 jobs right now. I thank You for that blessings. I’m not complaining about my condition. I can work hard until You say that my time is over. All I mind is my daughter. She had been living a hard time with me and my wife. We couldn’t afford to buy instant milk anymore. So, we give her tea or water. I feel ashamed as a father. I have to give her the best nutrition for her growth, but all I can give is leftovers.

My hands are full, God, but I have faith that You will help me…

Strengthen my faith each day, God! So, that I won’t give up supporting my daughter and seeing her grows to be such a great woman…