Ash Wednesday: The Mess and The Broom


Today is the first day of Lent. Since a few days back I’ve been thinking to myself, what should I give up this Lent? I read some of my friends were asking the same question through social media. I couldn’t figured the answer.

Not until I hurt someone close to me through my expression. It happened a few days ago and I didn’t know how to get rid of the guilt. My guilty feeling is overwhelming and I know that on the other side she is still hurt.

From that moment, I found my answer on what to give up this Lent – or hopefully this whole life. I have to give up on being a mess or making a mess – through my expression, written or spoken. I need to stop talking or making comments. It won’t be easy, since people will ask for my opinion or answer, but I will give my best effort to keep quiet.

As the eldest in my family, I’m used with the pattern of cleaning up the mess, being the broom when problems came. I’m so used with that role and unconsciously, I do the same thing to others as well. I took care of their problems, I had headache and heartache over their problems and sometimes, I felt mad at them because they asked for my opinion and didn’t do it whatsoever. I thought I gave my best for them, but the truth is I made them unable to grow. I took the place of too many people and at last, I threw it all up – because I was too full.

Best lesson for me!

And to end this, I want to share one quote from @rudyfransisco. A poet that stole my attention, except for today. I would say that on hard days, I won’t be mess or the broom. I would just watch and be quiet.

That was my resolution during the mass earlier today. May God bless us and everything that we give up this Lent. For the glory of His name!

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Journey of Faith

If you read this piece of writing, you’ll easily note my point as a Catholic. Yes, I’m about to write and share about Mother Mary and rosary.

As we all know, Catholic church respect Mother Mary as a Holy Queen as well as the mother of our saviour, Jesus Christ. And this week is very special for me, because I can learn a lot from other people – especially about their faith and their respect to Mother Mary.

One of best friend, Edwin, has been my sharing-buddy about Mother Mary. He had a nightmare a few weeks ago, in which he couldn’t breathe and felt as if someone was holding his hands in a rough way. He couldn’t move or scream. He decided to pray a prayer to Virgin Mary (also known as Hail Mary).

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

The reason why he decided to pray Hail Mary was because he believe in the power of Mother Mary. When we seek help from her, she will pray for us to Jesus. When Jesus hears His mother, He will surely ask His Father to come along and listens to our prayers. And .. Because they are the Holy Trinity, Holy Spirit will also come along and look after us. Isn’t awesome?

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Beside Edwin, I also had a long chat with a missionary from the Philippines who also devote her time to do rosary and novena. She said that she has her vow to do rosary as her devotion and doing so at certain churches that devote itself to Mother Mary. Of course, we can do rosary at all times, no matter where.

I am also learning and reading about the rosary. On how each Hail Mary prayer represents one rose that we offer to Mother Mary. When we finish saying the whole rosary, we offer a full crown of rose to her. I’m excited to do say the rosary now and eager to share it others as well.

And last, this evening, I met one of my students who told me that she’s not a Catholic, but everytime she has problems (even her family) she will run to the grotto. I was like ‘WOW’.

I wish you all the best blessing from the Lord, Jesus Christ, who loved His mother dearly until He died on the cross for us.

Writing is my way to share it to you.

Sunday Mass at Redemptor Church

This post is made because I want to share my happiness of having Sunday Mass with my best friend, Edwin Adrianta Surijah.

I told him a few weeks ago that I want to have International Sunday Mass at Redemptor Church, Jl. Dukuh Kupang Barat I/7 Surabaya. And, finally we made it today! After a number of wrong turns, asked around and no one really knew where exactly the church was, we made it!

Personally, I felt happy because it’s been sometimes since the last time I attend International Sunday Mass, in which delivered in English. The songs, the atmosphere and the homily were different and I loved it. Edwin told me that the songs used for mass were not his style at all. He’s into liturgical Catholic songs which we used every Sunday during mass.

The point delivered by Fr Noel was short, but straight to the point. He explained the Gospel Luke 9:51-62, in which Jesus ask His disciples and followers to follow Him 100%. If we still doubting our faith and still asking around about what to do as Jesus’ followers, then we may not be eligible to be called as His disciples. Everything that disciples do must glorify Jesus’ name, and not their own. Will you be agree? We can’t be agree more … Can we?

Happy Sunday, everyone! And be faithful, because Jesus is faithful and He had loved us first.

Writing is my way to share it to you.

Sacrament of Reconciliation

This Sunday mass (June 13, 2010) was about reconciliation. The first reading (2Sam12:7-10,13) was talking about King David after his sinful action with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah.

King David was committed to 3 sinful actions at once. First, he slept with Bathsheba, who happened to be the wife of his own soldier. Second, he planned a strategy to killed Uriah at war. Third, he disregard the Lord with his wrongdoing.

God was so angry and He sent Nathan to talk to King David. At last, the king admitted that he was wrong and he asked for forgiveness from the Lord. He was forgiven, he received the sacrament of reconciliation through the hands of Nathan. God forgave King David, but … the consequences of his sinful actions following him and his offsprings.

The Gospel was taken from Luke 7:36 – 8:3. It was about a sinful woman who came to visit Jesus and washed His feet with her tears. She then wept His feet with her hair and pour out the cologne unto His feet. Jesus said that her action was her way to reconcile, to ask forgiveness from Jesus – the Lord.

For me personally, being a sinful person is my natural being. It is our natural being as human being! But it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to live in a Godly way. Referring to the homily of Fr. Adrian (last first Friday mass), we have made with the image of God in everyone of us. Therefore, we can choose our action, either to live in ungodly ways or to stay in a Godly way. It is our own personal choice to make.

Having sacrament of reconciliation is like having fresh air in the midst of our hectic life. I had mine this morning and I was so glad to listen to Fr. Sixtus short preach. He said that analyzing others is not a sin. The next step is counted as a sin, only if we judge others based on our analyses. We tend to look down at other people when we know something bad about that person. That is sin! But if we can count the goodness on that person, it means that we use our analyses for a good purpose.

So, doing Godly or ungodly actions is a choice. Asking for repentance or not, is also a choice.

Make your choice wisely …
Have a blessed Sunday!

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My Offering To God

I went to a Friday mass this evening at World Trade Centre, Surabaya. The celebrant was Father Adrian A. During his homily, he said this sentence – and repeat that! – :
“Your life now is a gift from God. But what you’ll become is your gift for God!”

I’m writing this after having a thought on that sentence. I imagine myself as an offering unto God. I was made by His hands and I have the image of God in me. When I live in this world, I always have choices to make: remembering the image of God in me and act based on it; OR forgetting the image of God in me and act based on my needs.
If I choose to carry on with the image of God in me, then I will make myself as an appropriate offer to God! If I choose otherwise, I’d be like Cain’s offerings unto God.

What do we do when we forgetting the image of God in ourselves?
The main thing that we do is being reckless with the purity of our body. We will tend to disregard our own body and just look at it as piles of flesh. Our body has been made by His hands and God is not a reckless planner. It’s not merely about having free sex, but it also in a way we dress up, what we put into our body (drugs, alcohol) and what we do to protect it.

Looking after the purity of our body takes a lifetime process. We may fall once or twice, but then stop it and move forward. When the hill gets steeper and we fall again, remember to hang on tight to your faith and keep on climbing.

When we finally reach the mountain, we can proudly present ourselves as the offering for God. We’ve been doing our best to keep our body as the best offering for God … And God is looking at every process and trial that we have to keep our body pure. When we fall, sometimes God doesn’t really notice, because He wants to count the good deeds that we do and ignoring (sometimes) our bad actions toward ourselves.

What to do to make ourselves as a good offering?
A question to ask to yourself.

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Interview with God

I got this email from a friend. At first, I thought it was just another email about God. But then, I found out that it was not. It was a video about conversation with God. The answers that God gave were amazing. The advices that He shared were deep. And most of all, His presence was eternal. It was really the interview with God.

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I have been joined the Catholic Charismatic for 4 years and it’s been a life changing. The way I see God’s presence and His works upon my life has been changed. I also learned a lot about Bible and its meaning. Well, bible it’s not merely words written, but it has a deeper meaning than that. It contains the God’s words and the stories of the ancestors who lived their lives in front of God. Sometimes they fell into temptations, but God forgive them, as He would forgive us when we repent.

Anyway, Christmas is coming soon and I’m so excited. I used to celebrate Christmas as part of tradition, but now I can feel it differently. The way I see Christmas has been changed since 2006. I perceived Christmas as a time when our Savior comes and forgive us for our trespasses. He gave me a new life since I received my Penitence Sacrament that year, with Fr. Pachalis O. Carm.  Awesome, right!

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So, watch the video … and feel the presence of God! Be blessed!

Farewell for Father Vollering O, Carm

Father Petrus Josephus Vollering passed away on October 9, 2008. He was born in Zwammerdam on August 25, 1918. I barely knew him, except that I received one of my last penitences from him. I always saw him during Sunday mass, because most of the time I went to Sunday mass in the chapel of the elderly house for Catholic priest, in which he lived there. He was a humble person and was one example of being faithful unto God. On a closing speech, Father Heri O, Carm said that Father Vollering was a favorite priest in Batu, Malang. He dedicated his life for people in Batu since 1997 until 2005! 23 years of dedication…

After Requiem Mass

After Requiem Mass

There was a story about Father Vollering and people in Batu. Back to 2002, Fr Vollering got a serious operation in Netherlands. Knowing a chance that their favorite priest would be moved into an elderly house for Catholic priests, people collected hundreds of signatures to state that they wanted Fr Vollering to stay in Batu for another year. This act of love won Bishop’s heart! And yeah, Fr Vollering stayed for another 3 years in Batu. What a lovely priest they had …

God be with you

God be with you

Farewell for you, Fr …

We believe that God saw your heart of dedication…