Motherhood: A Personal Note

If you love to visit bookstores, you will see numerous books on parenting, how-to books on children and thousands different wrap on the same topic. It is as if every new parents want to share their personal journey on ‘what and how’ of parenting. Not to mention the experts. Well, it is true that every journey of parenthood is different and there is no way we can compare it to one another. I am now reaching the understanding that there is no such thing as ‘normal parenting’, since in the eyes of every parents, their way is normal. Mostly, that was the way the brought up.

I am a mother of a 3-month-old boy and I am experiencing a journey that I do not want to miss. I want to experience every details of his development and nothing else matters for me right now. Personally, I never thought that I would write this prior his presence, because I was so used to work and had been living my life as a career woman – at least for the past 10 years. But when my role as a mother is here, I can put aside the other roles and put them on hold.

Every day is a new day. As I learn to take care of my son, I also learn more about myself. And that’s the scary part! When I said that I do not want to miss every detail of his development, it may reflects my own separation anxiety toward my son. On the other hand, it also reflects the importance of ‘being there’ for my son. I guess the key is balancing both roles slowly.

Picture is taken from my other blog www.childrencounseling.net

Picture is taken from my other blog http://www.childrencounseling.net

As a way to let go off my own anxiety, I let the dice roll for me. I did not hesitate to follow the dice and yet, I did not push it too much (I used to though!). The result is positive, since I will add two more roles in my career line starting early next year. I purposely let myself ‘trap’ with responsibilities – within limit – so that I can slowly have a healthier separation process with my son.

I am a product of a working mom and I must say that I appreciate my mom more than ever. She was busy taking care of me and my twin brothers, shopping to traditional market every day, cook for the whole house (more than 2 families in the house) and went to the shops that owned by my dad. I could not imagine the juggling game that she played.

And now, as I am standing here, I can say to myself that it is a new journey for me. It means that I need to let it roll a bit and see how it goes from there. Learning new roles and skills take time – and that’s all I need. And finally, learning is a process in itself. It is not about achieving certain point or numbers, but to keep up with the process and learn a lot more along the way.

Keep it up, mothers!

The New Generation of Instant Kids

Yes, you read the title correctly. We are having the new generation of instant kids…

I’ve been working with parents for about 3 years and I started to be able to read between the lines. Parents nowadays want to have brilliants kids with minus efforts. What I’m saying here is the fact the parents want to exclude failure from the formula of Successful Kids!

If the old saying said that failure is the best teacher, then parents nowadays say that failure is not an option. There are only 2 ways of making this happen. First, parents tend to help their kids by providing any equipments, materials and even answering sheet just to make their kids be the top of the class. They even forge the documents or papers, so their kids will be able to go for favorite college or university. Second, parents will push their kids hard! School, tutorial and extra courses are the only things that kids allowed to do. No more outdoor play, free play and private times to do their hobbies. Sadly enough for this generation.

If parents really want to have successful kids, then they have to re-formulate the formulation that has gone wrong. They need to put their hearts in it! Don’t bother with favorite schools or college, because your kids can learn from any sources, from daily lives and from their very surroundings. As parents, we can help them to gain as much knowledge as they need and not merely stuck in academic achievements.

When kids grow, the problems don’t end. Teenagers nowadays are much fragile compared to the previous generations. They have no ability to show off of who they are and what they can do competently. Now, who’s to blame? Those parents or caregivers who provide the teenagers with whatever they need and dismissed the chances of handling their own problems.

Parents hold the key : to make their teens competent in what they are doing … or make them as incompetent adults.

Your choice, parents!