Love Until It Hurts

Love is something magical.

When people in love, they would do anything! Anything. They would change everything! Why? Because they are in love. People will translate falling in love as a LOVE itself. But it is not (Read: The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck – for further insight). Love is way beyond that scope.

Have you ever been in a situation when you do not love someone, but you have to help that person? In that scenario, you are the one who is there at that moment (might be wrong for you) to offer help. If you give your help sincerely, then you know what is love.

After I read the collection of private writing by Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, I was amazed with the scale of her heart. She would do anything to please God, not because she is merely in love – but because she loves God. If she was merely in love with God, she would walk away when God started to keep her in silence (for more than 20 years!). But she stays. She is hurt by the love that she has, toward God and people around her.

Mother Teresa

I am in the position where I have to love others that I do not love. For me, it is hard. Let me spell it for you: H.A.R.D.

Giving my care and attention to someone that I consider as undeserving is not easy. But then, somehow I hear a soft voice in my heart saying that I need to give even more – to teach me how to love sincerely. I did, and yet, the battle inside of me is not yet over, because the help that she needs is still there. She still needs help.

I can choose to quit at all time. That’s the lesson I’ve got from the society – why bother giving to someone that never gave to you. But then again, the image of Mother Teresa at our dining room (yes, a huge paint ordered by my Dad) reminded me of her saying. The paradox of giving and loving until it hurts will eliminate the hurt … and let love remains.

I am not yet there to understand, but I want to give it a try. Now. Today. It might be hard, but I could not find any reference to prove that it is impossible. So, it is hard, but it is possible to do.

After A Long Journey

Hey everyone!

I am back on track after being away for 4.5 months from this blog. I have been busy and happy managing my new project – and somehow losing my grip on this one. Guilty as charged.

As I am being away, I learn a lot of things along the way. I learned that being grateful in daily basis is helpful – to bring your mind out of the cloud and see the sunshine. And that is one main reason why I started my project on the first place. I did not expect to meet other bloggers and have them to like and follow my blog! For me, that is a real surprise. Something to embrace and be grateful for.

Sunrise in Bali - Aug 2013

Sunrise in Bali – Aug 2013

On the other side, I also learn from my mistakes and downside stories this year. I learned how to cope after I lost my baby – due to miscarriage. I learned that the missing hole will always be there – not to be ripped open all the time, but to remind me that I am a mother, that I need to pray constantly for my baby (Hey there, baby M!) and to have empathy toward others with any form of losses.

Another change that I am experiencing is how much I love spending time alone in solitude. Why? Because by doing so, I can think and really reflect all the events in my life. I can ask myself on why do I take certain behaviors, what is the after-effect and how can I cope with my feelings. Along the journey of finding myself, I also bumped into special people who reinforce my need of being alone too. And here I am now, I would always spend a few minutes on my own. Either to sit and relax, or to read my favorite book, or simply just sipping my tea.

I will write a lot more later. It is time to go home now.

Business Trip is Only A Title

This is my first long business trip – 10 days. During the first three days, I learned a lot from my colleagues and I saw a lot more. One of my colleague quote the movie ‘Up in The Air’ as a true story, especially if you’re flying a lot for what-so-called a Business Trip.

Unfortunately, business trip is only a title. There are a lot more than just make the deal, sign the contract and leave the good impression for long term relationship. Business trip is also an ideal place to be yourself – which means: you can be an invisible ‘badman’, maintaining affairs, and release the wave of fantasy inside of you. Am I being too dramatic here? Maybe. It depends on how you see it.

When you’re away from the people who know you personally, you have all the space you need. The choices are in front of you and all you need to do is to make a decision. The value of right or wrong can be very subjective. A man who’s cheating during his business trip may be seen as a great husband and a loving mother for his whole life – and that’s not entirely wrong. A woman who’s enjoying her wild fantasy during her trip is not necessarily becomes the worst mother in the world.

Are we allowed to do so?

No one can answer that question, but you. The choice to be faithful to your partner is there – standing together with the choice to be unfaithful. Go with your natural urge to ‘have fun as much as you can’ may satisfy your drive instantly. But the price to pay is there – patiently awaits you with the interest. Even though delaying gratification is not always easy, the reward awaits you – plus the interest.

I remember one quote (but I couldn’t remember the writer) says that: the real self of a person is how that person behaves when no one is around.

So how do you behave during your business trip?

Interpretation of Home

One of my favorite song is ‘Home’ by Michael Buble. Inspired by that song, this post is my (very) personal of Home.

Another summer day/ Has come and gone away/ In Paris and Rome/ But I wanna go home

This is home – Perth, Australia

May be surrounded by/ A million people I/ Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home/ Oh, I miss you, you know

Alongside Swan River

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you/ Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough/ My words were cold and flat/ And you deserve more than that

A big smile for Autumn Festival

Another aeroplane/ Another sunny place/ I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home/ Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Schoenstatt Shrine – A place of Grace, where I prayed to be home again soon

Let me go home/ I’m just too far from where you are/
I wanna come home…

When God put me to rest at green pasture

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life/ It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right/ And I know just why you could not
Come along with me/ ‘Cause this was not your dream/
But you always believed in me

One day, I will bring you to enjoy home together

Another winter day has come/ And gone away/ In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home/ Let me go home…

See the blue skies? It awaits us!

And I’m surrounded by/ A million people I/ Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home/ Oh, I miss you, you know

A part of home

Let me go home/ I’ve had my run/ Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home/ Let me go home/ It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight/ I’m coming back home …

Life Itself is A Traveling

Many people say that they love traveling. They enjoy the fun of doing it and how each travel can add happiness to their bucket of happiness. But what is the real definition of traveling? How can you define traveling?

For me, traveling is a media. Of course, traveling can also be a goal to achieve. Traveling is a media for me to discover new knowledge, meeting new people and learn from their life stories. I enjoy walking by myself in a new area during my travel. I also enjoy making conversation with the people around (but not in a busy metropolitan city, for sure, since they don’t have time to build a conversation). Or simply flowing with the situation – sitting facing paddy field, drinking hot tea in a cold traveling day or enjoying chocolate cake in front of me. All those little things add some flavors to my life stories.

I believe that traveling is also a term that we can use to express the journey of our life. I’ve got this good metaphor from a movie ‘Blind Side’ – with Sandra Bullock as the main actress – which said that a person is like an onion, we need to peel them off one by one. I agree with that metaphor! Life has so many layers and in order to understand what life is all about, we need to give time and peel the layer one by one. By doing so, we travel. We take the journeys to the core of our life by giving it time, giving it our best effort – and of course, choosing the right knife to help us in the peeling process.

When we travel through life, we learn that we need to adjust our speed. Sometimes we are too slow in one journey, so we need to speed up. It’s usually happen when we are into deep or too attached with a certain experience or person and we simply don’t want to let it to. Sometimes we hang in too long with bitter experiences, because we think that will be our ‘tool’ to gain attention from by passers. In another time, we walk too fast. It seems that time is too short and we want to maximize our limited 24-hour period. In this case, we would rush and press down everything. We don’t want to lose the moments – but the truth is that sometimes we lost it by being too fast. We can’t enjoy the process, for being too focus on the results. We don’t want to stop every now and then, to check whether we’re tired, need some adjustments or almost die! Just because we want to reach the end. Well, we might reach the end line – knackered.

I love to give time to my traveling experiences – as in visiting places, or experiencing life. It is always surprising for me to find new discoveries on how someone can slowly show their true self after a while. That’s a good traveling in my sense.

Happy weekend, everyone!
Enjoy your life – and your traveling experiences.

Singapore Holiday – Part 4

Sentosa trip was on the schedule today!

At around 1030, we left the apartment and headed to VivoCity – for a bit of shopping and waiting for the trip to Sentosa Island.

While waiting, we had our lunch separately. I had a healthy 6-inch Tuna sandwich at Subway! It tasted good – for the last time I had it was 6 years ago LOL! My relatives had their own choices of dishes. Then I had to accompany my niece – because she was tired and the rest were still on their route of shopping. We bought a cup of gelatto ice cream – my flavour was Rocher while her flavour was Milo. Both were tasty! Unfortunately there was no photo taken because we were focused on the ‘eating’ process!

Tuna Sandwich at Subway

Another snacks that we had were Kaya/Chocolate/Cream Wassant and Cheese Bun. They all tasted good and smooth …

Wassant - Provence Bakery

Then off we go to Sentosa!
First, Butterfly and Insect Museum. What I love the most was the photo sessions with the butterfly. My niece and the other kids her age were scared with the bugs flying around and also by the spiders inside the glass. I guess they were not too happy with this visit.

Butterfly Park

Second, we’re off to Underwater World – especially to watch the sea gull and Pink Dolphin Show. My niece was so excited during the two shows. Even we – the adults – were also happy. The visit then was closed with the show at the beach – Songs of the Sea. The crowd was so full and my relatives were so happy with the whole show. They said it is cheap to pay only $10 and able to watch such show. The story was about a salvation of a Prince by a young man named Lee. Pretty classic, but the water fountain, fire, laser and fireworks were the main attraction during the show.

At the Dolphin Show

So, with a happy heart, we’re all off to apartment and ready to end the day. But before that, we managed to buy cups of hot chocolates and soft drinks and also … Peanut Butter Toast from Toast Box – Ion Orchard.

Peanut Butter Toasted - Toast Box (I-On Orchard)

Have a good day everyone!

Singapore Holiday – Part 3

Today is our 3rd day of holiday. The early morning was started when my niece jumped into me – because last night we made a deal: if she wakes up earlier than me, then she is allowed to jump into my bed. She did – into me!

There was a change of plan though. At first, we would like to go to Sentosa Island and spend a whole day there. But because we had to move out from our free suite rooms, then we decided to cancel the Sentosa’s plan and spend the day at Orchard. So, we packed everything, checked out and checked in to our – supposedly – rented apartment at Lucky Plaza. The room was small (of course, compare to Crockford Tower Hotel) – but we enjoyed it anyway.

After we dropped our belongings, we went for lunch at Lucky Hainanese Chicken Rice – just a few level under our place. This food is one of Singaporean favorite dish and a-must when you visit Singapore. There are two types of chicken: steamed or roasted. Both are delicious, depend on what’s your preference.

Roasted Drumstick Rice - Lucky Chicken Rice - Lucky Plaza

Then .. Off we go to Bugis Street! Heaven for those who loves to shop! I didn’t really shop there – just a couple for my casual dress up. My cousins were excited to be there – even though they end up buying nothing (oh, well).

After a while there, finally I could go to Bras Basah complex. This place is my favorite place whenever I visit Singapore, because I could spend hours at the book stores there. Popular bookstore offered a great deal for self-hel books. And as predicted, I bought 5 books within 1 hour. The first 3 books were the series from The Times Publishers. I believed the books will give me much advantage for my daily routine at work – especially for my training materials. I’m now giving training to many levels of professional workers, students or parents. My training is mostly about self-help skills – on how you can manage yourself and overcome all those negative emotions, stress or depression. I also bought a book on Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and one Children Bible for my niece. The price was good but the short time made me unhappy – because I got to hurry up!

Bugis Junction

Then we went to Bugis Junction. Because of the short time and the many demands from many people, we end up buying nothing and decided to go to back to Orchard Road. As you well aware, Orchard is the main road in which people will come and buy things, eat nice food in the area or simply just catching up with their friends or relatives. We bought t-shirts and other gifts for our friends back in Indonesia.

And … The night was closed by dinner! My dish was a tasty and super delicious Beef Ramyun at Lucky Plaza food court! The portion was big – that’s why I love to order any kind of soups for my dinner in Singapore, because the size is (too) big enough!

Beef Ramyun - Lucky Plaza Food Court

Alright, it’s almost midnight by now. I’m ready to hit the bed and let my swollen feet have a rest. Tomorrow is our day for Sentosa trip!

Have a great day, everyone!

Singapore Holiday – Part 2

This morning was started with many yawns and teary eyes! Yes, we still felt tired when we woke up … But we were ready to kick the day! Because our menu today are: a-day out at Universal Studio and dinner at Clarke Quay.

Universal Studio
After we done with morning preparations (girls!) – we went down to the lower ground and within second we could see the sign of Universal Studio!

Photos surely taken! Heaps of them!
With Woody Woodpecker, Kung Fu Panda (ouw yeah!), Frankenstein, a hot wolf from The Mummy and many more ! We also stopped for brunch at an American-style dine-in: Mel’s Dine-In with its famous burger and hot dog. My burger crispy chicken was big – and surely enough to enjoy while there was band outside singing and dancing a-la 60’s band! They were so cool! For some reason, I fell in love with their Elvis-like hairstyle!

Hug me, Po!

The Show in front Mel Dine-In

For our late lunch, we had a family combo pack of chicken, mash potato and fried buns at Goldilocks. The food was common – but we went there because there were so many people with their own preferences. Fried chicken won!

We went for several shows and rides – Shrek 4D with tickling breeze under our seats and watery splash when Donkey sneezed. My cousins took the ride on roller coaster and we also went to Water World show – a show about a war between pirates and the protagonists.

Before we decided to go back to the hotel, I took the last ride at Jurassic Park. We were told that we might be wet or soaking wet. Guess what! Yes, we were soaking wet – from head to toe after our boat bumped into a giant rock and landed on fast current water. It was Fun for sure!

Clarke Quay
Then we went back to the hotel and getting ready for our dinner. We were late from our appointment with my youngest uncle – Raymond Lau Wei Min, a Professor at Nan Yang University in Singapore. At first he would love to bring us to his favorite Western restaurant, but it was already closed their last order. So, he brought us to Jumbo Seafood – one of a well-known seafood restaurant in Singapore. He got the honour to order the food for us – for he was the only man around! And he was the one who knows the dishes.

Chilli Crab - Jumbo Seafood Clarke Quay

We had 5 dishes – Chilli Crab, Fried Noodle, See Hock Steamed Fish, Shrimp and Tofu & Broccoli. All were great! My most favorite dish was See Hock Steamed Fish …

Steamed See Hock - Jumbo Seafood Clarke Quay

We finished dinner at 1030 and headed to hotel afterwards. The day was end by the time we reached into the hotel room … Tired, swollen still, but happy and excited!

Sentosa Resorts

See you for the third day report!
Have a great weekdays!

Singapore Holiday March 2011 – Part 1

After waiting for a few months to have this holiday, finally I could welcome myself and the girls to Singapore!

This trip was made solely to girls – not due to gender issues, but because it happened to be all girls when we arranged this trip. We are: me, my sister-in-law, her sister, my niece, my cousin, and two Aunts!

Complete Team at UNiversal Studio Singapore

Actually at first, it was only my youngest aunt who would join us, then last week, suddenly my elder aunt decided to give us a surprise by jumping in to out holiday. But … That was not the only surprise. She got invited by our relative to stay for free at Crockfords Tower at Sentosa Resort World! We got two suite room for FREE! Yes, you read it right – for free!

Crockfords Tower Hotel at Sentosa Resorts

So, my both aunts decided to go straight to the hotel (they were smart!) and let us the young people to enjoy the night for a while.

So, I lead the young girls to Orchard Road because I was the only one who ever been here before. I decided to take bus from the airport. At first, the driver was young and clueless (what about us – the foreigners). He couldn’t count of the sum of our tickets – 3 adults and 1 child. But, that was fine. He finally managed it well …

After 2 stops, he got his schedule change. The second driver was a middle-aged uncle who looked alike Grumpy – from the Seven Dwarfs. He certainly was not the nicest driver ever. When I asked him about the closest stop to Orchard, he didn’t even bother to look at me and just answered, “The other side of the road!” Then I asked him further, “So, where should I stop?” He answered, “The other side of the road! So, so, so!!!” I quit asking instantly (after saying Thank You), pressed the stop button and jumped out.

We were then able to manage to Orchard Rd (which was in walking distance) and had our late dinner. I had Vietnamese cuisine – mixed beef soup from Wendy’s Vietnamese Kitchen at I-On Orchard. The taste was hilarious – enough to get rid of my long day, the face of grumpy bus driver and swollen feet!

Vietnamnese Beef Noodle from Wendy's Vietnamnese at I-On Orchard Singapore

To close the night, we took MRT and enjoyed the ride to Sentosa. My niece was so amazed with everything around her. When I asked her which one is nicer to stay at home with driver and car ready, or to be here in Singapore – hailing cabs, waiting for the bus or MRT? She chose Singapore. I think the situation is different in which people can appreciate public facilities as theirs and use it wisely.

Oh, the first night in Singapore is truly a blessing from God. We got this extra suite room and the togetherness is beyond anything.

Photos will be uploaded soon! Meanwhile, I will update my travelling stories daily from Singapore.

Have a great weekend, people!

Christmas Season in Jakarta

Last year, I went to Singapore for a reunion with ex-Thomas More residents on December. As a result, I was addicted to take pictures of Christmas trees, simply wherever I could find them. One of my friend threw joke on me as a Christmas-tree-addict!

This year, I had a chance to visit Jakarta, as a part of my scholarship in Psychological training in human rights issues (post is coming up!). I just want to upload a few photos of Christmas Season in Jakarta.

Huge Christmas Tree at Plaza Indonesia

Santa and his surf board at Grand Indonesia

The Dancing Water Fountain at Grand Indonesia

Christmas Tree at outside Grand Indonesia

… and finally, my house-will-be during Christmas day (hopefully in the next few years!). Oh how I wish to celebrate white Christmas with my loved ones!

My dream Christmas decoration

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas celebration and a fabulous New Year ahead. My prayer is with you all!