It is the 12th day of 2015 and I’ve been using my brain to think too much. One condition that got me to a lot of places, and also to a lot of down moment. But hey, I’d rather see that as my blessing, because I won’t do reckless stuff or let myself into danger without any consideration.
What do I think the most lately? My dream. I’ve been having this dream for almost as long as I can remember. To live abroad and see the great life that this world offer. I remember when I was a little girl, I would sat in front of the only national channel and read aloud the credits of every western movies or shows. I told myself that English shall be my second language. And it is now.
I had the taste of living in Australia for a year and until now, it was the best year ever in my life. But, it was only a preview. For some reasons, I had to go back to Indonesia and be with my family. During good days, I can’t stop being grateful for this chance – of meeting my boyfriend (husband now), of seeing my niece and nephew grow up, to be with my parents when our family gone through the hardness of life and simply being with my friends. But during stormy days, I would blame myself because I didn’t pursue my dream a little harder 11 years ago. I imagined what if I pushed my Dad a little hard 11 years ago to let me continue my Masters in Australia? I might get my PR by now, living and working there, and most probably, I had my moments of traveling to European countries. None of those are in my hands now.
I’m blessed because I’m surrounded by good people, who always remind me that I don’t have to give up on my dreams and goals. But at the same time, I also have to let God shaped me through His delayed promises. Yesterday, I got my a-ha moment when I stumbled into one quote on Instagram (by @cgi_loveee). Picture is below. It reminded me that I don’t have to change my goals, I only have to adjust my plans every now and then – in order to get closer to the goal of my life.
I also remember one moment on 2007 when I met one mentor in our Catholic group. He used to be our mentor back in Australia. He said to me that I will be back to Australia and live there, after I’ve done my homework in Indonesia. And for these past years, I hold on to that one prophecy. But it means that I have to be an optimistic person and faithful to His promise.
Until when? Ask the Big Guy that question. I bet He won’t answer. He will only show it to you and me.
And to close this, I’d like to share the first part of Celine Dion’s song “The Power of The Dream”
“Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strength of just ‘I can’
Has brought together people of all nations
There’s nothin’ ordinary in the living of each day
There’s a special part everyone of us will play”