Dear Mom and Dad,
I have been waiting for a while to get myself altogether and enable myself to write everything down here.
People said that children will never be able to choose their parents and vice versa. I believe that is true. I did not have any options on who my parent would be, when was the time of delivery or how would my parents accept me. Then the lucky couple were the two of you!
Mom, I knew that you were very young when you carry me in your womb. I also knew that Dad was so careless and even planned to abort your pregnancy and killed me altogether. I knew it, Mom. I was crying with you when you felt so desperate and lonely.
But I was just a baby.
When I was born, I wished for nothing but your love – and Dad’s too. But I guess my presence was too much for both of you. I was not your child, because it was always grandma who took care of me. Mom was so busy with her friends, gym and gathering. Dad was busy with his work and clubs. Me? I was busy shooing my sadness away.
I still remember when you told me that you hated my sad face, Mom. No matter what happened before you saw me, you obliged me to show my happy face. Thanks to you because now I know how to show my poker face. It is so natural for me now.
Dad, you were too demanding and not easy to please. You thought it was for my own good – to go through toughness and work hard for what I want. You were right! Now I could do multitasking work and do not know how to stop – not until you tell me to stop. Not until you tell me that you are proud of me.
I thank God that I am alive today. With all my scars and my past. I bet you did not know when your colleagues and friends sexually molested me. You did not know and did not want to know.
I don’t think I told you about my cry at nights. So many nights when the two of you had gone too bed. I cried by myself and wishing to disappear. The next morning I had to rush to go to school. Before you saw me with my swollen eyes and blamed me for being such a weak child. Now I am very good in controlling my tears. I don’t even know how to cry.
Mom and Dad,
I would like to say that I love you. I don’t have any plan to get revenge on you because I believe you love me too. But please, see me as your child. Someone who is broken and need your love – unconditionally. That’s all I want.
I am a grown up with a child inside of me. She is hungry of love and attention. And she will never stop until she gets it.
Inspired by many stories on how negligence can hurt children deeply and cause them to suffer, even until adulthood.