When we are facing problems, especially the kind of problems that need us to be sympathetic , we tend to choose – should I think over this problem? or should I just let my feeling take over. It seems simple, but it is the kind of consideration that everyone has. Let’s follow interesting conversation between Thought (T) and Feeling (F). You are allowed to nod or laugh when you are experiencing the same conflicts …
F : Damn it! I hate being compared to other people! I hate feeling as the second-best.
T : Whoa! Calm down. What is it going on here? Who compare you? What happened?
F : Someone told me that I was not the only one. There used to be someone else.
T : Interesting. You said: used to be. That’s past tense – and it means that ‘the someone’ is no longer here.
F : Well, she told me so. The someone else is no longer here.
T : Then how come you feel as the second-best? And how come you feel compared to the ‘used to be’?
F : Well, that’s the right feeling to feel.
T : I guess that’s not the right thought to think. You are the present. That someone else was the past. Enjoy your present life!
F : Should I feel happy with this present life?
T : I think there’s no such things as: should or shouldn’t I. It is important to feel what you feel. The ‘should’ feeling is not always relevant to your actual feeling.
F : Actual feeling?
T : Yes, your true feeling upon something or someone.
F : You are not supposed to talk about feeling! That’s my part.
T : Please do. I just want to help clarify your feeling – because sometimes you forget that you don’t have brain to think.
If people ask, should I think or should I feel? The answer is not absolute. The cognitive personality will always start by: what do you think? Meanwhile, the emotive personality will always ask: how do you feel about that? Both are needed in our life – we need to think and surely, we need to feel our emotions. I guess, it is all about the perfect combination of blending your feeling into your rational way of thinking.
Enjoy the ride!