Living in the Tunnel of Past Life

These past few days, I’ve got a daily text message from a-44-year-old woman who complained about what happened to her 30 or 35 years ago. She is a big fan of a used-to-be famous child singer in Indonesia, since 35 years ago. She is very proud of the fact that she is able to get in touch with her idol up until today. She exchanges text messages, photos and visitation with her idol every few times in a year. She also has hundred of photos of her idol. And amazingly, she is still flipping her photo albums regularly – so she will know when one photo is not at the right place!

Beside her idol issue, she also maintain a lot of anger and sadness from the past – mostly anger. One day, back on 1981, she was a teen and wanted to watch the movie of her idol. But then her Aunt told her that the movie was a porn movie – and there was no further discussion. Her mom warned her not to watch that movie. She still embrace her anger toward her Aunt until today. In one of her text message, she mentioned something about killing her Aunt because she was the main enemy against her dream to watch that movie!

She also mentioned something about her ex-classmate 35 years ago. One day, this classmate broke one of her wooden toy and her mother decided to throw away the broken toys, because she did not want to widen this so-called small problem. But her mother was not ready for the unexpected anger! She is still embracing that anger until now. In one text message, she said that when this ex-classmate die, her both hands must be cut and cemented to her grave, and adding the words: “These are the hands of a person who loves to break my stuff.”

I had goosebumps when I read her text message. The anger radiates through her typed words. I can’t imagine how hard it is for her to be fixated in a tunnel of her past life. She is hardly move forward and seems to ignore all the good things in her life. She could not remember all the good happenings because her judgment is clouded by her anger. Keeping anger on the same issues for 35 years is like carrying a mountain on your shoulder while you try to walk. It will definitely stop you from moving forward. The effort of carrying the mountain itself is a killing.

She is one example of those people who are in need to let go off their past. This is a severe case, and she needs professional helps from psychiatrist, psychologist and her religion adviser. She has no one to help and her family has to ‘carry’ her for the rest of her life.

I learned a lot from this woman – in which I choose to be happy and grateful at all times, no matter what the situation might be. I choose to let go off my past burdens and embracing the present moment. I won’t let my past blockade my present sunshine and destroy a way to grab my future in my hands.

Wish you have a great weekend, people!

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2 thoughts on “Living in the Tunnel of Past Life

  1. do I know her?? LoL
    I also have this tendency to dwell in the past
    Need so much work, more faith, hang on hope, and keep charitable

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