Revenge and Hidden Anger

Just now I was texting with a single woman in her 40s. She sent me message and saying that she’s still have anger toward her neighbor, 35 years ago. So, during her primary school years, this neighbor of hers broke her toy. She was so angry and upset. This feeling was worsened by the action taken by her mom, throw away the broken toy and didn’t take any ‘forensic’ evidences – took picture of the broken toy or save that broken toy.

This woman wanted to let her friend’s parents about that accident. She wished that her friend would get beaten up by her dad, till she died. And surprisingly enough, she still has that wish until today – yes, after 35 years!

Last year, this woman bought the same toy, broke it by herself, took a photo of it and wrote a letter to her friend’s parents!

She told me that she wanted revenge so bad! She even let herself drown deeper through the movies that she watch. She mentioned one movie about a guy who tortured and raped a girl. He then killed the girl by putting chopstick into her vagina. Whenever she watch that movie, she would imagine that the girl killed was her friend …

I asked her, whether she consider herself as a sadistic or not. She said that she is sadistic and she’s proud of it. Well, I guess there’s nothing left to do … She wouldn’t admit that she needs help to solve her problems.

I had a discussion with a psychiatric few months back regarding this woman. He said that her problem rooted from her personality. So, the needs to take revenge and keep the anger alive is not merely emotional problems, but personality disorder. We haven’t talked a lot regarding her diagnosis though.

Even as a psychologist, the reaction of a human being still startles me a lot! I learn another lesson from this woman’s story and I hope you too can learn something from this case.

Writing is my way to share it to you.

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