I found this interesting term last week. I searched through online dictionary the phobia term of being afraid to fall in love, and I found Philophobia (check the complete phobia list on http://www.phobialist.com/)
Philophobia is fear of being in love or fear to fall in love. I think I was a philophobic, a chronic one. I had been through turbulence moments of having failed relationships, being cheated on, being the one who collected the dust of lies and many more. Anyway, I’m not gonna write this painful list any longer, because it’s time to enjoy my moment as being a happy single.
I said previously that I was a philophobic. Am I still one now? Well, I’m in a state of recovering, fast and steady. My experience of being in a serious relationship (at least, that’s what I thought) was a great lesson for me. I learned how to share with my loved one, I learned what it means of giving whole-heartedly and not taking any granted of a relationship. I also learned that windy days and stormy weather always be on the next block. The point is how we, as a couple, can overcome that block of quarelling, fighting and throwing arguments. Sometimes, we’ve made it. Sometimes, we just failed.
This failure can be the main reason of why someone becomes a Philophobic. When we feel that we already give our all and our partner throw that away without any hesitation, we feel useless. For me, that kind of action attacks my confidence and self-worth, right away. I know for sure, that’s the reason why I had that acute Philophobia.
One friend of mine was so intrigued when I put ‘Philophobia’ as my BlackBerry Messenger status. He asked a lot of questions, give me some web links to read, planning to buy me books on philophobia and give me his ultimate advice: ‘Stope being a Philophobic’.
Another friend of mine also asked me about my status. He said, ‘It’s easy, Cicil. Just change your state of mind’. Oh well, I’m one big fan of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, in which the key is to change our cognitive frame in order to change our behavior. Well, the process of therapy is a tough one! So yeah, it is true that I just need to change my state of mind, but -hello- it is a long way, with a hard work (I’m on it).
Anyway, when you are not afraid of falling in love … Enjoy it! Make love with your loved ones ..
Much love, Cicilia.
Writing is my way to share it to you.
4 thoughts on “Philophobic – What is That?”
I don’t have philophobia, I’m not a philophobic because of one main reason: I don’t believe in love.
L-O-V-E is a complete bullshit.
What I do is do all the best that I could. If I’m with someone, I would appreciate every moment, every second that I could. I give all the best of me.
If it’s goes well and last forever, it’s what it’s.
If then we should be separated, that’s the way it is. At least, I know I have given all the best. No regret and no fear of taking the risk.
If (because of the separation) I become too depressed and decided to suicide, it’s what it is.
So, I agree, when you have the chance to show how do you feel, let’s just naked and MAKE LOVE…..
Maybe it’s not falling in love, but in the HOW another person will love you back. That fear of things that would be said and done even before the relationship started.
Some people create and imagine scenarios, negatively, thus keeping them back.
Hi, Apollorose …
In my case, the previous painful experience somehow made me as a philophobic. But now I am recovering, quite fast and steady. Doing my best to keep my negative thought away, before I start the relationship itself.
Thank you for dropping by.
That’s maybe true. And that’s the bottom line of my belief about “not believe in love.”
For me, the most important thing is: “mencintai sajalah” regardless anything that will come after.
Thanks for sharing, Apollorose