This is another real life story of a young mother, who is stressing out during her children examinations period. She has 2 children, son and daughter. Her son is the eldest and started his Primary at 5.5 year of age. She complained about her son to me, just a moment ago. She said that her son is a hard child when it comes to any school work. He would not start his school works if she does not call him. He would not study for his test, if she does not shout it out. He always makes the same mistakes over and over again. Even though the night before the test, he could answer all the practice given by his mother, on the test day, he would make some mistakes. So, he never really achieve high standard, which has been lined out by his mother.
We tried to sort things out, especially on why her son show no interest in any school activities. Then we come into a few conclusions:
- Her son might be too young when he entered Primary school. He did not have enough time to play with his peers and not thinking about his diary and school works. By sending a child to school at a very young age will have different impact on different child. Maybe her son is craving for playing time during his kindergarten years.
- She set her own standard of getting high scores at school and hoping that her son will enter the highest 10. She put her past experiences into her son’s scope now. She was in the highest 10 and her mother did not pay any attention on how she was doing her school works. She wants the same thing to happen with her and her children at the moment.
- She asked her son to do his best at school because she wants something from her son. She has a mindset that she already gave a lot for her son, so now it’s time for her son to give something back, by doing good at school. By saying this, her son will think that the one who needs good grades is not him, but his mother. Her son will not be bothered by this request because he could not understand the meaning of studying, having good grades and so on. His mother needs to tell him the right examples of why he needs to study well for his own sake.
- She does not have consistent studying hour for her son, so it will depend on the daily basis. By setting schedule, a child can learn to adapt into such routine. Of course, the schedule not meant to be dull and not fun. The schedule must meet a child’s ability, biological hours and capacity. If a child can stand for an hour and needs a break, then parents must understand such condition. Pushing a child to go over his limit, will bring the child down and bring parents down too, for they can’t reach the ‘standard’ set.
It’s not easy to be parents. I’ve been dealing with teaching young children for 4.5 years and I’ve met many parents with different expectations, wrong belief and their own standard of being success for their children. I would not blame such parents, because they do not understand on how to see the world from their children’s point of view.
As a start, imagine yourself at the age of your child now! Then you will understand what they need …