When A Woman Married to Special Needs Person

I heard the story of a young woman married with a mentally retarded man on 2004. Some phone calls and sms told me that the wedding took place when I was in Australia. At 2006, I saw this couple with my own eyes on one big event. The woman dressed casually and she looked very humble. The husband looked very happy of having a wife by his side. His face was flat, with mongoloid characteristics. Yes, he has been diagnosed with MR (mental retardation) since he was born.

This young man came from a very rich family. So rich that they can buy a wife for this young man. The story is very classic because the woman came from a very poor family, about 3-4 hours driving from Banjarmasin, South Borneo. She did not want to marry this young man at first, because she was not ready to take all the responsibilities. But then, the matchmaker was able to make her say ‘yes’. And then, one day on 2004, they got married…

This story won’t be a problem if everything went well according to earlier agreement. This rich family promised to pay the matchmaker such amount of money, Rp 100,000,000 (around US$10,000). They also promised to pay some money and buy a car for the woman’s family. But up until today, none of those promises are happening. The matchmaker got some money, Rp 500,000 (around US$50)… I believe that you can count the differences between!

I’m writing this up not to make any gossips, because the story is real and I know the couple and the man’s family. They live is Surabaya, East Java at the moment. I do not know whether they are happy or not. All I know is they are living together as husband and wife up until now.

Sometimes I’m thinking to myself, is the woman happier than before? Did she ever think of having a husband like his husband now? Will she be happy for the rest of her life? Does she deserve such treatment?

I also wonder about the man … Is he happy to have a wife? Does he deserve such marriage?

I’m trying not to judge … I’m just sharing this story with you all.